Written A Year Apart. What looks to me like growth.

A blog in two parts.

Part 1. (Written Fall 2013)

Let’s talk about Halloween, because I’m annoyed by the phrase “I don’t celebrate/do Halloween, I’m Christian”. And it’s only been this year (last year) that I have actually taken notice of this, though I’m sure that I have been exposed to this phrase or some variation of it before. It could be that now I have a job that is big into Halloween, or that I am listening better, or something else that I haven’t thought of.

I’ve never understood why there are certain things that some (not all) Christians abstain from where as other embrace those same things. Now I say abstain, and it could be assumed that I am talking about sex, alcohol, and specific foods, because that makes sense with biblical law. What I’m talking about in some ways is Christian parents pushing their personal brand of beliefs onto their children. This once again brings me back to Halloween, (or for another example I’ve experienced, modern rock music, regardless of whether or not it is a Christian musician/group or not) because though it does derive it’s origin from the belief that it was the one day of the year that the spirits of the dead return to the mortal realm, or something else ridiculous like that. But now it’s origin, though not forgotten, no stock is put in it, or at least not in common place, and yet there are those who question Halloween and stick to thinking that it was inherently bad and thus forcing this belief on their children being excluded from the average practices surrounding Halloween. The days has now been reclaimed by Western Society as a reason to put on costumes, get or give out candy or even just be someone else for a few hours.

Now if this was a universal practice among Christians I don’t think I would find this to be so irritating. But the disdain for Halloween is only a personal choice or at least that’s what I’ve always thought, seen, and believed. I’ve known pastors who dress up for Halloween, and members of their congregation refuse to even consider that western society’s reclamation removed the paganism from the thing.

Part 2. (Written Fall 2014)

Rereading to the point above I am realizing that almost around a year after writing it what I am doing is bashing how people have taken to making their beliefs their own. I am not saying that I understand why they don’t celebrate it I am saying that I am not angry about it anymore, and that I understand where the lack of uniformity is coming from. Because they’re just doing what I’m doing, in that I myself am making my beliefs my own, and I think more people need to do that, or take a critical look at what they believe including the “rules” that are imposed by their beliefs’ central supposed authority or text.

My only issue now is one that I touched on in part 1 and that is if their beliefs are dictated by what their parents believe and thus just what they did while growing up. Because blindly following your parents’ beliefs are still not making them your own. Blind belief is not a good thing; logically you should know what you believe and why you believe it. Now this might seem like it contradicts the commonly quoted Bible verse “walk by faith, not by sight”, but it is my opinion that belief and faith are two different things. Belief is “an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists”, whereas Faith is “belief that is not based on proof”. So the way I see it the verse is closely related to the Switchfoot lyric “Doubt your doubts, and believe your beliefs”.

And that could be the overall message behind this post, or at least one of them. One of the others is being related to learning about your beliefs and not just going with whatever your parents tell you to.

So this was a post written in two parts a year apart from each other. Starting out as a rant about people not celebrating Halloween, and it turned into me going on about how people should not blindly believe things and how people should make their beliefs their own.

Post Script: As always there is probably more that I could add, and more to learn to add, if I come across it I will share it maybe by a new post or by updating this one. Either way if there is more for me to share I will share it. Also I hope that I will have other posts written before this one besides my one on feminism because I am scheduling this one for the week of Halloween.

I know this might seem like I am making excuses...

But there is once again no proper post this week. There has been a death in the family.

I'm Sorry.

I'm sorry, there is no proper post today. This passed weekend was Canadian Thanksgiving and my mom drove down for a couple days, so needless to say, I've been busy. Too busy to get something finished and posted. It happens sometimes, but I should be back next week.

Dating Terms. A blog response.

Recently I read a blog post from another blogger that one of my Facebook friends had shared, and it was about dating terms and how they’d changed since the writer had gotten married, he called it a “hazy, undefined dating-but-not-dating scene”. I’m not sure how long he’d been married but he made it seem like it had been at least a little while. He assumed these terms are used due to fear of commitment, and with continuing and increasing reliance social media and technology, of course dating terms have changed. So I am going to venture a try at clarifying some of the terms he mentioned.

The two new terms he used were “hungout/ hanging out” and “talking/texting”, but he also went into the older term of “courting”. So I will explain what he couldn’t

Let’s start with “talking/texting”, now I know these things are not unique to this situation and therein lies the source of confusion. You talk and text with people that you’re not romantically linked to, or wish to be. You also can do this before you find yourself romantically linked to them.

 So how do you differentiate texting with a friend and texting with romantic interest?

Well it’s simple, two words, “Romantic Intent”, now what this means is that your intentions are to potentially lead that conversation either verbal or electronic in a romantic direction. Now this isn’t to be confused with flirting, because even though flirting is a part of this not all of flirting has the Romantic Intent that this form of “talking/texting” does. Some people are naturally flirty, some people oblivious to their own flirting, and Romantic Intent is a conscious thing, that’s because romance it’s self is a conscious thing elsewise it is a subconscious, animal, basic instinct.

Now on to “hung/hanging out” and once again these are words that do not necessarily have a romantic connotation to quote the original blogger whom I am responding to “Hanging out is how we describe what we do with our buddies”, and even in my further explanation it is not necessarily “romantic” but it is also not in the common definition of the words. This is because “hung/hanging out” could potentially mean one of two things; One being pre-dating(romantic) and two being a physical thing (could be romantic, but not always). I will talk about them in that order. Pre-dating is as it seems to, literally before dating, and “talking/texting” is a big part of this. Conversational chemistry is only one part of what is necessary for the romantic relationship known as dating. Now this might need a little more clarification; once again there is “Romantic Intent” but there is a greater proximity aspect to this but not a physicality to it. I know that this still sounds like dating except with no physical aspect but this comprises of non-dating activities. So I’m talking about things like quick coffees, grocery shopping, exercising, short walks, even a movie under the right circumstances but there’s no holding hands, kissing, or cuddling(things that buddies do), but maybe a hug once and again depending on circumstance. Now these are not requirements, because at this point what is between the two people involved are still in an essentially undefined state. Then there’s the other definition where “hanging out” is a euphemism for having sex, and this one doesn’t necessarily have to have any trace of romantic intent, this could include friends with benefits, “fun” buddies, random hookups, pretty much any opportunity where sex is being had could be described as hanging out. I am pretty sure that was the assumption that was made in his blog post. And he made it seem like that was the only option where it could very well be an option but not the only one. This related to him complaining about hooking up, he didn’t bash it directly but he did call it “teenage” and used the phrase “vague, timid, code words of high school freshmen”, also describing it as “embarrassing. Almost as if you weren’t in any sort of a committed relationship you’re doing it wrong. And with that I believe that there’s an implied aspect of quote unquote slut shaming there.

There were other things in this post that I had issues with beyond his lack of knowledge on evolving language that I had issues with. For one he appeared to put the onus of blame on only men for this. Especially since it is not always men who are unclear with their intentions or desire for casuality in relationship. And in relationship to that he compared a casuality or lack of definition in relationships to an inherit immaturity in men, and it being a result of fear.

Post Script: I am realizing how much I think about love and relationships, or at least how much it appears that I do. When in reality most of these posts are just me figuring or at least trying to figure things out. This post should have been up sooner, considering when I had read the original post, it was all in my head and I had just needed the time to get it all out.

My Journey In Feminism

I feel like I should preface this with the statement that I am human and with that it comes with the stunning surprise that I am not wrong, ever. And I hope the sarcasm was clear in that statement above. I would also hope that you don’t hold what I’m about to say against me, I’m going to talk about my journey into feminism.

I guess a good place to start would be with some definitions.

Dictionary definition: The Doctrine advocating social political and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

Definition when I asked a feminist: A movement towards gender equality, but now it's evolved and become intersectional meaning it also includes discussions of race, sexuality, class, etc. Essentially a movementtowards equality of all kinds.

Ignorant definition: Man hating female superiority.

And I won’t lie, I’ve thought each of those definitions were true at different times in my life. And currently, the feminists’ definition is the closest to something I believe in.

See, besides the government oppressing people’s rights, I do see music and other forms of media as one of the biggest blocks to the equality movement. I mean if you listen to a lot of the quote unquote popular music women are perceived as being either stupid or only useful for sex, not to mention how racial stereotypes are perpetuated in all sorts of media. Now I am not sure if a quote from this person is the best choice but it does fit in context.

“I feel like hip hop used to be a voice for the voiceless, and now it’s become at least in the mainstream; A symbol of misogyny, gay panic, fiscal irresponsibility.” – Bo Burnham

Though is does not provide any usable advice for how we could change things but it does bring to light one of the many problems that seems to just go widely accepted in society. Now saying that, there was that one song by Robin Thicke, which I can’t even quote or even properly use as an example because I cannot be bothered to listen to or Google the lyrics based on the unanimous hatred for the song. But eliminating hate speech, and actions in the media would only do so much. What we really need is a massive change in peoples thinking. To be precise, we need to change what people joke about, because I know this is crap, but if something is laughed at it is all people need to believe that something is acceptable to do. This means no sammich jokes, wide based generalizations, and even making light or the stereotypical gender roll definitions. Because it is just as okay for the men to be single or stay at home parents just as it is for women, there is no job that I can think of that a man can do better than a woman; I do believe that women can do anything and everything just as good as a man can. Women can raise children without there being a man involved just as well as if there was and the same thing goes for men. And that is the major problem with people making objections to same sex couples having or adopting children and their objections are absolutely ridiculous.

 So there are a couple problems with my above statements, which I found while typing this up. One, being I was using gender binary terms where I did not mean to exclude non gender binary peoples. Two, I primarily focused on binary gender issues I didn’t even go too far into issues around race, non-binary genders, and so many more things that feminism is about. Three, the true problem with people is not their physical appearance. When the real problems are with people’s personalities, we need to treat people based on who they are not what they look like or who they are romantically or sexually interested in.

Okay so society is all about progress right? Living longer, being better, having a better understanding of the universe. If we didn’t strive for progress then why are there constantly technological and medical advancements? Now what we really need to do if we really wish to be a truly progressive society is one word, Equality. And some people will say that we already do lie in an equal society, but pardon my French that is Bullshit. The white man is still figuratively king, women and non-binary gendered people are not given adequate or even proper recognition, and people with any skin tone besides white get judged far too often, quickly, and stereotyped even further from there. Okay and you know what love is? Love is an energy, it cannot be created or destroyed, and comes in many forms. If more people understood this it wouldn’t really matter what people looked like, who people were or whomever they liked, they would treat each other as if they were just people. We all share the same planet and that should be good enough to treat each other well and properly.

Post Script: I once again need to reiterate that I am no expert in this field, and I am still learning and going forward in this journey. Because I cannot change the mind of anyone else until my own mind is good. I also figured that after a couple posts aside from last weeks on the primary physical, a deeper post was needed.