So here I am at it again, writing about dating and I know I
do this far too often, but this is different.
All dating sites are fundamentally flawed; well I can't say
all exactly, but all the ones I've been on, which is a lot of them at least the
free ones anyway. But I'm pretty sure the rest of them are just as flawed.
This isn't about the dating sites themselves but the people
on them. Generally. This is for the people who just do the minimums on the
dating sites. Those who only maybe upload a photo followed by the two words
"ask me" or some variation of that. Do you know what you're doing by
this? You are asking people to be vain, to judge you by your appearance.
Essentially what you're doing is saying "if you think I'm hot hit me up."
And as much as I do believe that yes dating sites are an exercise in vanity,
there are those who use them with the true intent of finding someone special.
I'm not saying that physical attraction is unimportant, but it is not the most
important thing. What about similar common interests? What are you going to do
if you have nothing in common? Okay, so think about this is: A profile with
only visuals, and very little personal information, it sounds a bit more like
they're looking for a hookup rather than dating. And there's nothing wrong with
it if that is what you are looking for, but don't be ashamed about it. Don't
hide behind a pretense of looking for "dating" or a "long term
relationship" when what you're really looking for is a "casual
encounter," "short term dating," or less subtly casual sex.
Don't lie about it, it just irritates the rest of us that are actually looking
for something real, or long term, something more than just physical.
But let's also talk about the photos that some people use on
dating websites. And no, I'm not talking about the subject matter of the photos
in general. I am of the belief that selfies are a wonderful thing, so yes; take
pictures of yourself frequently and proudly. And of course use these selfies on
dating websites. But take good photos, I'm talking adequate lighting, not
overly grainy, and have your face in full view. Also a couple things that I
have found to be a bit of an issue with dating site selfies, and these are
actually to do with subject matter and thus are a bit more controversial. So
here they are, ladies: I'm not saying all of you do this but certainly some do,
and this photographic faux-pas is as I put it "more boob than face".
Which is exactly as it sounds, more boobs than face, though yes boobs are nice
and are certainly a way to attract a guy, but once again potentially for all
the wrong reasons (if that's not what you're looking for). And guys I half
assumed this was a high school habit and that I wouldn't actually have to
mention it but keep your shirts on in pictures. Just because you can go
shirtless in public or in photos online it doesn't mean that you have to. And
for pictures that are not of yourself, though yes perfectly fine to be included
on dating sites, if they are the only pictures though that can be a bit of an
issue. As nice as it is to see your pets, vehicle, photography skills or any
other possible thing, having a picture of yourself is kind of essential. Even
if this photo is private and you only choose to share it after a bit of
conversing, having a photo is essential.
Post Script: I've been writing but not the things that I can post here. I've rewritten my dating profile twice. But I have been working on post-able items as well. Spring upon us, then summer and travel is something that I will do during this time. The thing about travel and vacationing though is that it allows for free time and free time means writing time, that or photography time.
