What's With This Brony Thing Anyway?

Let's get started, and I know what some of you may be thinking. What is a Brony? So in the simplest terms a Brony is a fan of the television cartoon My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.  Now where did the term Brony come from exactly? And well that's a bit more complicated, simply because there are two trains of thought on the matter. One being that it originated on the online message board 4chan's page/b, so b-ponies became Bronies. But here's where it gets confusing, because how did b-ponies become Bronies and not bonies besides for the obvious innuendo-y reasons. Therefore I present the simpler and more logical explanation: bro + pony = Brony. Now what you might say to yourself isn't bro a primarily male term? and though there is an unusual amount of the fan base that is male some of the female fans did want their own title that they could identify with, thus pegasister (Pegasus + Sister = PegaSister) was conceived, though that term is not universally accepted by the female fan base, and some still prefer the term Brony.

So why is there such a big deal surrounding a cartoon meant for little girls. Well besides there being an unusually high adult viewership, it is at the best word to describe it, a wholesome show. The characters are varied and they find themselves in mostly semi-relatable situations for young people. The show displays a more realistic portrayal of friendships than many shows around. And as a throwback to cartoons of old the episode usually ends on a high note with some sort of a moral message.

With saying all that you might be asking "where's the controversy?" and it spawned from where much controversy currently lives: the internet. That shouldn't be all too surprising though considering that 4chan is part of their history, and if you didn't know 4chan was responsible for the semi-recent past's largest leak of stolen celebrity photos known as "The Fappening", or at least that is where the leaking began. Now that you know where it came from, on to what it is. The generalised explanation that I can give is that the actions of the few extremists write the perception of the many. An explanation amongst the Bronies is that there is a faction that the others wish would not exist, and therefore do not talk about. These of course are the fans that choose to sexualise the ponies, and not just in their minds which is bad enough, but also in drawings, fanfiction, etc. then they proceed to share these with the internet, where anyone can find them. The people who end up finding the sexualised pony stuff (because I can't think of a better way to put it) unintentionally just happens to be the shows intended target audience, small children mostly little girls. And thus it is assumed that all adult fans (Bronies) sexualise the ponies and transform a wholesome show into something perverted. And that of course is the primary reason behind their poor reputations.

So, why are people doing this? Well that is a simple principle: People are weird. I am not ne to judge people on their sexual preferences, but in this case I am reconsidering. Now I know that I may have mentioned here previously that at a young age I found myself enamoured with several animated characters myself such as Jean Grey, Mary Jane Watson, and Ami from Sailor Moon. And later on I would find myself infatuated with television and literary characters. I see nothing wrong with that in practice; it is okay to develop crushes on fictional characters, from what I can tell it is a natural and normal behavioral practice. This is assuming that you also must realise that fictional character are not real and that they are not a substitute for a possible real tangible person. I think that is where this sub-group of Bronies has gone wrong they are using these animated fictional characters as surrogates for the real thing. Though two sided relationships may be hard, both to find and to keep, and giving a real person the power to hurt you may not seem like the smartest thing to do, but still favourable to something that is literally just in your head that you choose to unleash upon the internet.

If we're being real there are more interesting "children's" cartoons on right now. Such as Adventure Time, Gravity Falls, or Steven Universe. Don't be ashamed to like what you like, or watch cartoons hos intended target audience happens to be small children. Just be careful about what you decide to post on the internet, you never know who will see it. Also don't sexualise cartoon characters.

Post Script: Now, I wouldn't call myself a Brony, I'm not against the show, I liked it. Also I finished filing my first notebook. And this is the first post written originally in my new notebook. I just ant to thank everyone who visits and reads these things I post. If you ever have any comments, just let me know. 

The Single Parent Conundrum.

So this will serve as my second letter to/for people on dating sites... well kind of. This is about dating single parents, inspired by the fact that a decent majority of people on dating sites happen to be single parents.  Now me not being a parent of any sort myself, and yet having been raised by a single parent, I feel as though I can provide a different perspective on this topic.

I grew up in a single parent household in the time before internet dating was even a thing. Before the internet was even a big thing. But my mom still did date, now not initially that I can remember, but she did date. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with single parents dating, the pursuit of romantic love and companionship is not limited to childless people. If you've got a babysitter (assuming that they are young enough to need one) and some free time then you deserve to go out and have a little fun, everybody needs a little me time now and then.

So I am on a couple of dating sites, which I possibly have mentioned before, and thus I have come across the fact that they appear to be primarily populated by single parents. And therefore I find myself facing a decision where I could potentially limit myself or not be a dirt bag and be open to dating a single mom. That being said, I know for a fact that personally I am not finding myself ready to be a parent quite yet. But I still have no issues with dating a single mom, and at this point you might be asking how that might work exactly. Though I do have a couple rules in association to this point.

1) I don't want to intentionally meet your children.

• I know this would mean that you will be constrained greatly by time. Because they come first. Absolutely.
• This does not mean that I never want to meet them, it is just not yet.

Reasoning: People tend to form connections with other people both kids and adults. If it doesn't end up working out, I wouldn't want your kid to have to deal with a broken connection that they cannot fully comprehend. They already have to deal with that considering that their parents are no longer together.

Exemptions: 

• Unintentional or accidental meetings, because of course things happen.
• We have something real; no real isn't the right word. Something serious, something noticeably not short term. I can't put a timeline on this, but, I mean I'm thinking a minimum of 6 months, maybe even a year.

2) I don't want to replace your child's father.

• Depending on the circumstances surrounding your separation having both parents involved is beneficial or so I hear.
• This does not mean I think you should get back together with your ex just to raise your kid(s). But you really shouldn't be dating to try and find a potential replacement or substitute parent.

Reasoning: As mentioned before both parents deserve to be involved depending on certain circumstances of course. Those circumstances being; them being around, wanting to be involved, and not being abusive. Also if the child does not respect the person that you're trying to introduce into their lives, they won't end up respecting them as any form of parental unit, which might seem normal if they were say a teenager, but not so much if they're younger than that.

Exemptions:

• Adoption when/if the child is okay with it.
• The child is a young infant, before concrete memories form. Or if you are involved pre-birth and the other parent does not want to be involved in any capacity. (May be going contrary to the above mentioned 1).)

3) (Not so much a rule as a guideline) At a young age we are taught to share our toys, but that's not always the easiest thing to do, and sometimes it is. But the problem is that people aren't toys, well not so much a problem but a truth, and therefore they are much harder to share. This rings especially true if you haven't had to share them before. (As I am writing this I realise that this is not only about children having to share a parent for the first time but could very well be about the adults). It is especially hard for a child to have to share a parent for the first time though. This is because before this it was only you and them. And the thing about kids is that they are a lot smarter than adults give them credit for. If their comfort is threatened they will do whatever they can to return it to what they view as normal. Change is difficult, especially at a young age. They can become bratty, jealous, uncooperative, and do whatever they can to sabotage the situation. The situation can worsen if both parents are single parents, because then the child will not only feel threatened by the other adult but there will also be another child  to compete for attention, which is exactly what it will seem and look like.

Now onto story time. I am going to give actual examples of my mom's ex-boyfriends as I remember them. All I ask is don't judge her based on the people she's dated. I will not be using their real names for obvious reasons.

First. I'm gonna tell you about Ichi. From the best of my memory Ichi didn't last overly long, and I was introduced to him probably far too early. I thought he was cool, he played guitar at church and was always willing to help me out, he seemed nice. But I was introduced to him too early, also was quite young at the time, so I can remember him in a good light. When I was older, significantly, I asked her what happened, and it turns out he was controlling, he wanted her to stay cloistered, and he tried to keep her isolated from the people around her. So needless to say, he was a douche canoe and I am glad he's not in her life anymore. 

Second, I guess I have to talk about Ni. He was in our life the longest. I want to say it was about three and a half years we ended up living with him, I think, it was a significant amount of time anyway. He tried to be a replacement for an absentee parent. By the time he had entered my life I felt no need for a "father" my mom did a great job by herself. I should also mention at the beginning, pre-move in I was only a child, old enough to know I didn't need a "father" but young enough that I did get bratty and uncooperative, because he already had three kids at the time. It didn't really help that at the announcement of the impending move-in it was combined with my mom announcing that she was pregnant. But my brother did come out of their relationship, so that is a plus, but inversely he was verbally abusive, detrimental to my self-esteem at a pivotal time in my developmental life. Not to mention that if there was someone who could be considered a professional victim, it would be him. And very happily he is mostly no longer in our lives,

Third, would be San. San started a trend of my mom dating good guys. He was nice, had a good job, non-abusive, and an appropriate sense of humour. Needless to say, he was a good choice, the problem was that he had an only child around my brother's age, and since my brother was used to sharing my mom with me, and he did and still does have a relationship with his father, so it's not as though San was trying to fill that "void' in either of our lives. But that didn't change it, his daughter's unwillingness to share him, it having been a long distance relationship, and he wanting to spend more time with his daughter resulted in the crumbling of their relationship.

So, that's a thing I decided to share. But I hope that this doesn't dissuade anyone from pursuing a relationship with a single parent or single parents from dating. I feel like I should also mention that though I only shared stories of my mom's failed relationships, she is currently in a rather successful one and has been for several years. He is a wonderful man, so don't give up on looking for that someone special. 

Post Script: Sorry if this post turned out to be a bit of a downer. Was it a downer? I don't know. It had a bright ending so I think it was good, but I also wrote it but you know. This post was certainly longer than I had expected it to be. Also Ichi, Ni, and San are the Japanese words for one, two, and three. There is no significance in my choosing of their names.