With a "Y" the Stages of Friendship.

The Introduction.

“Y” is one of my oldest friends; I met him shortly after my first remembered city to city move. It was the first day of the 6^th grade, and for me it was a new town, and new school. Till then school had not been overly pleasant for me, I was bullied at both of my previous schools, didn't really fit in and at that point I was thinking “at least I knew people at my old school, and here I don’t know anyone.” But it being elementary school in a small town, and me being in french immersion it didn’t take long for “Y” to come over and ask me first if I was “Brooke” as what I thought was a joke to which I only responded with a shake of my head in the negative. Then he asked if I was “Tommy”, and once again I shook my head except this time in the affirmative. And from there he told me to come and wait with him because we were in the same class. It was a grade 6/7 split, which I don’t think is actually all that uncommon for French immersion classes, he was grade 7, and as mentioned above I was in 6^th.

The beginning.

Now the friendship between me and Y didn’t grow out of geography, where we went to summer camp (because we went to two separate summer camps), it didn’t grown out of me thinking of him being an older or younger brother type thing, it wasn’t a matter of me being inspired by him or aspired to be him, or for any of man other reasons. But our friendship had sprung from something much simpler. Our friendship came from having similar interests, things like Lego, Legend of Zelda, collecting things, the first Matrix movie, as well any number of other RPG video games. And we complimented each other quite well.

But then I moved. And I had thought that was it. It was another friendship that had ended because I had moved again. It wasn’t nice, it was by no means good in my eyes, but at that time I had accepted it.

The Return.

Then an opportunity for me to return to the town I thought I’d said goodbye to. And so I jumped at it, not because I expected to see the people I knew but because I enjoyed the town itself. (Also not just because visiting also happened to mean that I would be missing school.) Then by pure coincidence during some of the, well I guess you could call it, free time, I went out with a couple other people for what was supposed to be a brisk walk. But who should I come across, but Y himself and his at then girlfriend. And we got talking, only for a short while because we were both busy for the rest of that day. But before I left, we proceeded to meet up again several times that weekend. Before the weekend was over we had agreed to keep in touch and so we did, electronically of course, at that time meant through MSN messenger and myspace. This time when we parted I had no doubt we would see each other again.

And we have seen each other since, several times in fact. And on more than one of these such occasions happened to be instances where we stayed at each other’s houses for days at a time.

Post script: He had this nickname in a somewhat self-imposed manner. Because though he had a somewhat common name, rather than it being spelled normally it unconventionally had a “Y” where commonly there is an “I”.

Why I don’t say “Goodbye”

Now the title gives away what I will be talking about today, but I should probably clarify a little. I won’t just leave without saying something… most of the time; I won’t just leave the conversation without some sense of ending. I will use other “parting remarks”, “exit greetings” or whatever else you want to call conversation enders like bye, later, see you, next time, or anything like it just not “Goodbye” itself, that I just absolutely abhor using. But I will use it, when I think it’s appropriate, “Goodbye” is not one of those few words that rarely ever pass my lips.

Now my reluctance to say “goodbye” has nothing to do with its’ origin being “God be with you” and my religious beliefs though someone else probably could and possibly has made that argument. But for the past long while “Good-bye” has just has this air of both formality and finality to it. Now in saying that, Farewell has also has the same feeling except in different degrees. Let me try to explain this a little better. With an example, it might be easier, this might not be a pleasant example but here it goes. So farewells, they are what you say at a funeral. They are the last Good-bye. Now Good-byes are what you would say in the hospital, because with Good-bye there is always the possibility of coming back from that. “Good-bye” is not necessarily forever, but it could be. From my experience, saying something has ended does not necessarily mean that it has, the saying that “it’s not over until it’s over” is so very true, but also not always. And I don’t think there is a single word that can really ever end something, but as words are what we use, the proper use of them is something that I highly seek.

With English being such a wide and varied language it is certainly possible for words to have more specific meanings than they currently have.

Post Script: Getting back on a regular posting schedule has become more difficult than I thought. Also this isn’t definitive; I still use “Goodbye” when it’s not forever, or formal. Sometimes it just feels right.

I don't know about you But I'm feeling 24

So with a new tradition that I started last year when near to my birthday I gave 23 pieces of unsolicited advice. Except this year I can't give you 23 things, so I will share 24 things about me that you probably didn't know before. Or maybe you did in which case. Good for you. (and this is why I don't ad-lib blog posts.) Also I am sorry for my laziness, uninspiration, and general lack of postingness. (And there I go making up words.)

Before I get even more distracted here I go.

1. To keep my hands busy I make paper cranes out of post-it notes.
2. I've taught my tongue to tie cherry stems in knots, because I thought it might make me a better kisser.
3. And yet I've never been kissed.
4. I couldn't snap my fingers until after I graduated High School.
5. I got the scar on my left thumb from a broken glass bottle is what I tell people, what I don't tell them is that I got it because I used to dumpster dive for cans because I couldn't afford to get an allowance.
6. It wasn't until two weeks ago that I owned all 7 Harry Potter novels.
7. Spider-Man and the X-Men have always been my preferred superheroes because they were picked on just like I was.
8. When I was younger I wanted to be the green power ranger because we shared a used name.
9. My first name is Franklin, but i go by Tommy, a contraction of my middle name: Thomas.
10. I cry far more often than I admit.
11. I regret how judgmental I was in high school.
12. My first time drunk I declared that I was Batman my second time drunk I accused my cousin of being an X-Men mutant.
13. My first celebrity crushes were the Olsen twins, my first irl crush was also a pair of twins.
14. I am not worried about losing my mind, I've already accepted that it will happen.
15. I greatly desire to be a father, and no raise a child in a single parent home.
16. I also have name possibilities picked out.
17. I don't drink enough water, and i know this but don't do anything about it.
18. I like going to the movies alone just as much as with people.
19. I've got a "thing" for redheads and before that it was blondes, but realistically hair colour hasn't been all that big of a deal, or at least not as much as eye colour.
20. My attraction to Natalie Portman has a lot to do with her having been in Star Wars, even if it was the prequels.
21. I am convinced that when I see her I will just know. 
22. I don't read/watch the news because it makes me angry, and I feel like I should do something about it. But all I can think to do is deliver vigilante justice.
23. I had a dream last week about teaching the ethical culinary preparation and serving of human meat.
24. I'm worried I won't find someone because I am too worried she would end up getting hurt.

Post Script: I purposely posted this after my birthday, because I felt like after being 24 for a day could help me write this alas I was right-ish.

The Soldier & The Flower Girl.

(Verse 1)  So I met you right after I caused an explosion.

           With that cat and the flowers you were unloading.

           In this city, under the company's reign and the earth's erosion.

           You asked what happened, tried selling flowers almost goading.

(Spoken) Little did I know you were part of the big picture.

(Chorus) Because I was a SOLDIER and you were a flower girl

         Our fates intertwined; goal to save the world in our minds.

         We were both unsure of how all this would unfurl.

         But now whenever it rains, to me it just reminds.

(Verse 2) Second meeting, I fell through the roof of the church.

          You helped me out, though I landed on your flowers.

          These guys came in. Deal: Bodyguard for a date. Here we go; lurch.

          We had to fight but you helped out, with your healing powers.

(Chorus) Because I was a SOLDIER and you were a flower girl

         Our fates intertwined; goal to save the world in our minds.

         We were both unsure of how all this would unfurl.

         But now whenever it rains, to me it just reminds.

(Bridge) So there we were, us and some others,

         Travelling around, even stopping at your adoptive mothers',

         We came across this city with its lights so bright,

         You paid your debt, and we had our date night,

         It wasn't our first; I remember the one at the park,

        After that you got captured, rescued you, then I felt the spark.

(Chorus) Because I was a SOLDIER and you were a flower girl

         Our fates intertwined; goal to save the world in our minds.

         We were both unsure of how all this would unfurl.

         But now whenever it rains, to me it just reminds.

(Verse 3) We found the truth; your real mother was an Ancient. The Last.

          That jewel she gave you was more. To save the world, it was HOLY.

          To continue our quest, we went to the Ancient City. And you went to cast.

          I found you there, in prayer. It happened so fast, but I see it slowly.

(Chorus) Because I was a SOLDIER and you were a flower girl

         Our fates intertwined; goal to save the world in our minds.

         We were both unsure of how all this would unfurl.

         But now whenever it rains, to me it just reminds.

(Spoken) I couldn't even stop it, but there I was.

          I let you die.

Post Script: Sorry this is a couple days late, was feeling a little under the weather.

The Choosing.

So this is something that I have thought about doing for a while. Sharing with you not advice, or rules, or opinions or anything like that. But today I am choosing to share with you a morsel of one of my friendships. And today I will tell you of The Choosing.

Let me take you through a bit of the process I go through when choosing a nickname/title for a friend. And by doing so telling you about a friend of mine.

So, we were never close enough to consider each other part of the pseudo or non-blood families we create for ourselves, and we were never romantically linked so no titles related to those would work. She's a pastor's daughter, but she's never looked at that as a way to define herself by either rebelling against it or playing it up. She's one of those people that has only really ever defined herself by being herself. I could call her The Coyote, not because she resembles a coyote (which she absolutely does not) but because we both describe our own singing voices with the same movie quote. "Like a coyote in a trash compactor," but I feel like giving her a nickname based on an inside joke just wouldn't do her the justice she deserves. Now because it's her I find this to be a little more difficult because I've never been able to pin her down or capture even a bit of her adequately, she has always been illusive to me in one way or another. I could call her The fox for the reasons above, but that might imply that she is hunted, but she is quite clever, and not bad on the eyes either for the other connotation of fox. We do have plenty in common but we were never two peas from the same pod, there is enough different between us for that analogy not to work. Calling her the variable might work, the unknown element, X in the equation, but that could make her seem like she is the answer to a question, or some missing piece but like I said above we were never romantically linked. Because if she is X, she has already found her Y. But if there is one thing I know for sure, she is not just one single thing, but many things, a blend or even an amalgam if you will. But that just doesn't really feel right. I could call her A, but that is too simple for her, unless of course it was a stylised A. Now what I could do is refer to her as the Greek letter alpha, it is after all still an A, which is the first letter of her name after all, and it could also stand for amalgam. But as well I do associate her with the beginning of something in my life. And so it is decided, she is alpha.

Post Script: She once asked me which song I would use to best describe her and I told her, after a bit if thinking that it was "In the Hall of the Mountain King." And I'd still say it was so if she asked.

The Traveler Letters

So this is something that I have thought about doing for a while. Sharing with you not advice, or rules, or opinions or anything like that. But today I am choosing to share with you a morsel of one of my friendships. And today I will tell you of the Traveler Letters.

Okay, so to start I will explain a little more. I will not be using the real names of my friends, but instead I will be using nicknames, or titles that I have given them. And most of them don't even know that I have done this. And even then I do nit do this for all my friends, but only for those whom I believe have had a good impact on my life.

So, since around mid 2012 I have been writing letters to The Traveler. (He is not named as such because he is constantly traveling, but because I have been around, noticed and still noticing his travels and growth in life. I'm not even sure is he knows that is one of the reasons I gave him that title.) Now in these letters we discuss all matters of both little things and much larger things. We've talked about books, and girls, of our future plans and present activities, and so much more. Needless to say, the Traveler Letters are very important to me, and reading and writing them are some of my favourite things to do.

Some more explanation. As mentioned in my old post entitled "Community" I've moved around a bit, and so building and maintaining friendships have not been the easiest of things in the world for me. But now living in the digital age as we do this has become easier to do. With Facebook, instant messaging, texting, and the like you don't have to live in the same place to do that anymore. But in opposition to this short little burst messages and internet abbreviations are not the best for growing friendships. But then there are e-mails, which is actually what the Traveler Letters actually are. (Now I think of them as letters because I first actually write them out pencil and paper before typing them out and sending them to him.)

Now a bit about me and the Traveler. I have known him since I was in the midst of puberty and he was prepubescent, I can't remember our exact ages, but he had a significantly smaller amount of both hair and height than he does now, and I could not yet grow a full beard or even a proper goatee yet. But before 2010 we had never actually lived in the same town, or even next town over. His parents looked after my summer camp during the off season. But none the less, I've seen him grow up and I'd like to think that he has seen me grow up. I count him as one of my closer friends and greater confidants (one of the reasons I do the Traveler Letters).

So, Traveler when you read this, and I hope you have been reading these lately, I thank you. Our letters help keep me myself, they help me stay grounded, and where I like to be emotionally and mentally.

Post Script: I hope posting on Mondays works for people. Next week I will be telling you about another one of my friends, but after that I will probably be interchanging them with other posts.

Rules (number one): The online to offline transition.

I find it a little odd even if it's about myself, but I like rules... most of the time. But the problem with rules is that there aren't clear rules about everything in life, so I've decided to write some of my own. I'm gonna start with something I know a little about. So these are the rules about making the transition from knowing someone online to knowing them offline as well.

Rule #1: Be close. If you want to transition to an offline relationship of any type whether it be friendship or romantic the first thing you need is to be in relatively close proximity to the person. Now what is relatively close is a matter of personal preference, but you can't be considered in an offline relationship if you only meet once and that's it. But I'm not saying that meeting someone offline for the purpose of meeting them is bad because it isn't it could lead to a stronger online relationship or even it could lead to the desire to make the transition to offline.

Rule #2: Prepare for disappointment. When meeting someone offline prepare yourself for the possibility of being disappointed (or just surprised). Now I will split this into two parts. First visually, second personality.
Visual: I think this is obvious but people are not their profile pictures. One thing I've noticed is that very often profile pictures are people at their best, as well a photo also does not always show the entirety of a person. So when you meet the person they could be having a bad hair day, bad breakout day, or something else that has them not looking their best. You also have to take into account that not all profile pictures are always recent. They could be using their favourite photo of themselves from high school, university or something of that sort and you have to  ask yourself how long ago was that photo taken. Also profile pictures don't give you whole view, they aren't in 3D and sometimes they are just parts of their body or face leaving parts out. Not to mention the possibility of photoshop. In this way you can never judge a person by their profile picture.
Personality: People are not always the same offline as they are online. Just think about it, we are internet people where the tiniest voice can be perceived as being gigantic, where someone shy offline can be a social butterfly online. There are also those people who are just more comfortable with communicating textually over communicating vocally. And then there's the nerves, oh the nerves. I'm not sure about you but personally I get nervous quite easily, and that can affect everything. But what I find that might be useful for those awkward first encounters offline, just go back to elementary/primary school and pass notes. It could also cause laughing fits which is a great ice breaker.

Rule 3: The most important rule. Now I consider this to be the most important rule because it applies not only to the transitions of relationships but to every aspect of life. Well maybe not everyone. But it applies to a reasonable amount of situations. This rule is as follows "Be nice, and don't he an ass". (This is actually a variation of Wheaton's Law, which is "Don't he a dick".) I know this might seem like common sense but it can be the earliest rule to break and forget. But it's simple schoolyard logic if you're not nice people don't like you. And easily enough if you're an ass, then you suck.

Post Script: I'm not sure if I will end up writing a series on rules that I think up about life and stuff but I do like the idea of doing it.

It's not mother's day but whatever

When growing up under normal circumstances we tend to think of our parents as superheroes but as we grown up we sometimes forget that fact and start thinking of our parents as if they are just normal people. Then something happens that makes you think, "My mom's a BAMF" and makes you think that you were right when you were a kid.

So can you guess what happened to me earlier this week. I mean I've always known that my mom was awesome, but this made other people know.

So my mom and her boyfriend were out in the forests of northern vancouver island, they were grouse hunting. And suddenly my mom says "cat". Thinking that she meant cougar her boyfriend turned around pointing his rifle in that direction. But my mom saw a ratty little light furred creature which looked like it could have been a house cat. And so what does my mom do, creep slowly towards the animal so as not to spook it. Of course with her boyfriend following behind her rifle at the ready just in case it turned out to be a cougar cub. Once they got close enough to see it a little clearer they saw that it was not a cat at all but a small little dog. And then they had decided to try and call the dog to them. But it was only an act in futility, but luckily it didn't scare the dog off. So at that point they split up my mom going around to behind the dog while her boyfriend tried to keep its attention. Now she wasn't able to catch it coming up from behind it but what she did was that she guide-chased it so that her boyfriend could finally catch it, and while guiding it she noticed a tattered cardboard box with a rock weighing it down from the inside. Giving them evidence that it had been abandoned and not just run away. So now holding the puppy that notice that it was covered in fleas so bad that it had chewed off patches of fur, making some parts of the small dog almost literally skin then bone. So almost more than half starved, covered in fleas, and with patchy fur not to mention the abandoned wet dog smell covering it they rushed to his truck and then as fast as they could they went to the veterinary hospital where only one month ago me and my mom had taken our old cat to sadly be put out of his pain. But they didn't just leave the dog there so that the vet could take care of it, no they took it in for a full check up, deworming, and defleaing. Finding out that she was a pom/chi mix, unfixed 9-12 months old and the only thing wrong with her was that she was almost starved my mom had her boyfriend drive her and the puppy now named grouse the wonder dog home. Where us already having one dog we had dog food.

And so we now have a new addition to our furry family. A rotty/lab cross named Princess Leia, a tabby cat named Tabi, now a pom/chi named Grouse the wonder dog. And enough love for them all.

Post Script: Grouse is actually not the first of our unintentionally obtained pets. Tabi was born on my mom's bed while looking after a friends cat because she couldn't have pets in her new apartment. Tabi's siblings actually went to our friends too not the mother cats owners friends.

End of Summer

So with the end of August having just happened, I thought I'd share some summer camp stories, or as I've come to think of them, MountainView Memories. To clarify, the summer camp that I attended most of my summer camp career and where all my camp stories come from is called Camp Mountainview. A camp run by the Salvation Army located in Northern B.C. between the towns of Houston and Smithers.

And so I will tell you of Corey my first camp friend, the brass alarm clock, and the midday shower. I will also share with you photos of my friends and time there.

Before I start I should clarify something, Camp Mountainview has more than just summertime camps, throughout the year there are a few weekend long camps which I also attended. Actually my first time at what I will now refer to as CMV (Camp Mountainview) was during one of those weekend camps. That was when I met Corey, as I mentioned above he was my first camp friend. He was very charismatic, but other than for that reason you wouldn't normally assume that he was a pastor's kid, or at least he didn't fit into one of the stereotypes attributed to being a pastor's kid (but then again that's not odd, seldom have I met one who does). Corey was a player, and he knew how the game worked, now I can't tell you if he still plays or if he has now become a one woman man. Okay, so from time to time he'd need help covering or manipulating the truth so he wouldn't get caught, and that's where I'd come in. I was known to be quite honest or at least more honest than Corey when it came to certain things. So some of the girls he would get involved with would talk to me, confide in me, and ask me about Corey, I would stretch the truth and did this for two reasons.

1. Even though the girls were my friends as well Corey was my friend before they were, and the length of time that someone had been my friend meant something to me.

2. At my core I've always felt like I am a story teller, because telling stories has come easy to me, and even though there is usually a string of truth running through most stories (like the one I'm telling bending subtle facts are easy and simple to do).

So I thought I was helping and I would do what I could to help because that's what friends do. But looking back I regret helping him cheat, but I don't think I'd do it any differently because me and him probably wouldn't have become so friendly, even if we now don't talk.

Okay, so now, the brass alarm clock. This might sound like a joke but this story start like this. This one time at band camp, well okay it was "creative arts" camp technically, but that's because at that time there was very little interest from campers in brass instruments. There were only two of us there for that reason on that year, me a trombone player and this guy named Luke a trumpet player. (A little thing that I should mention is that the last night of camp was once known as prank night, where campers could pull pranks on the other campers or staff on staff. These pranks had to be done before everyone else wakes up, they had to be essentially harmless and it usually ended up being boys versus girls. For example, the female CIT's one year put an aluminum canoe at the top of the stairs blocking the door to the chore boy's cabin; they then knocked on the windows to get the boys attention, but also to taunt them. In retaliation the chore boys were far less creative and the next week they flew one bra belonging to each CIT from the flag pole. Another time the girls cabin spread honey on the door handles and door step and then covered the honey in puffed wheat cereal. And this is what I consider retaliation for that.) How Luke wasn't there for the above stated incident but I was, and it wasn't hard to convince him to help me with my prank because who isn't up for a little summer camp mischief. So what we did was borrowed the alarm clock from one of our counselors and set it to go off at 4:45 am, (enough time for us to wake up, get dressed and outside for 5 am, 2.5 hours before we'd normally be getting up) we grabbed our instruments walked to the outside of the girls cabin, and we made noise with them, because to say we played them would be wrong. We blew into our instruments with the purpose of being loud enough to wake the girls up so much that they couldn't get back to sleep, but that was not the result. We ended up waking up the whole camp and though Luke and I were amused everyone else seemed a bit grumpy until after breakfast and some a bit longer than that.

Now to the midday shower, this happened at the teen camp week on my second to last summer that I attended which would have made me around 16 I believe, maybe 15. It was an early August day, it was around 3 in the afternoon we had just come back from swimming in a local lake and we had free time until dinner. A group of us had just dropped off our towels and started walking down to see if we could find some fresh wild strawberries and then the rain started "the way you fall asleep, first slowly then all at once" to paraphrase John Green. It wasn't a cool rain, but it was a nice warm summer rain. But it wasn't a light rain either but a heavy rain, which gave the group of us an idea; one of us I cannot remember whom but they ran quickly to their cabin and then brought back with them a bottle of shampoo. So we were out there not caring about our clothes getting wet and we were washing our hair with shampoo and a warm heavy rain shower and not long after we had finished washing our hair the rain had stopped, as if it rained just so we could wash the lake out of our hair.

Post Script: Did you ever go to summer camp? If so what are your favourite memories?

Also it this means anything, it was not romantic at all and it didn't mean anything to either of us and it wasn't even all that big of a deal, but that camp was where I touched my first boob.

Above: Me
Left:Corey

Loss...

I have a hard time crying in front of people, and this is for purely a vain reason. Crying is not a nice thing to do or to look at. But today, I did, I couldn't help myself. I lost someone very close to me today. Now it's not that I didn't see this coming, he was 16 years old and for a male house cat that is definitely not young. Also over the past year he slowed down, and his ability to climb stairs and onto the couch diminished greatly, he lost the ability to contract some of his claws, and near the end of May, he had a major seizure and since then I noticed yesterday that he had lost weight and wasn't cleaning himself as thoroughly as he used to. Also I knew this was coming when my mom told me that she had made the appointment to have him released from his pain and that was today. So this afternoon me and my mom put him in his cat carrier and took him to the vet, and before I even got out of the car, my mom handed me a napkin because I had already started crying. And even though with knowing that this was going to happen and time to prepare for this I still felt the entirety of this. The pain of loss is not something that you can appropriately suppress.

So my cat, he was more than just a pet, he was a member of our family. Here’s a little perspective. I have a brother and he is 15 so we've had Spunky (the cat) for a little longer than he has been out of the womb. He's been with us through every family move from city to city we've done and he's lived everywhere that I've lived. Not to mention that he was my first pet.

He did live a long and full life; he lived in four different towns and even more different houses. He fought a wild raccoon and won, he brought a multitude of birds, snakes, and mice to our door step as thank you gifts. He had a great hunters' spirit when he needed it but he also was always there to snuggle up and meet anyone who came through the door. He never brought home fleas, and would always try and clean out my beard whenever I've had one. He was the kitty that did it.

There's no doubt in my mind that he will be missed and that I will remember him always.

Post Script:

This is the best tribute I could bring myself to make. It is just really hard.

Sluts, Skanks, and Whores.

Sluts, skanks, and whores. Let’s talk about that. It is very obvious for those living in common place North America that these are not nice words, and yet we still use them. The thing that all three of them have in common is that they are used to villainies primarily females for having sex. And I think that is the purpose of these words, but I believe that the use of these words has become far too common.

So what I want to do is help clarify the appropriate times to use the words, to be clear none of this is meant as slut shaming that is not my intention and this is based wholly on my own opinion. If I offend you, I am sorry. As I mentioned earlier, these are not nice words but they are also angry words, and it does not matter what tone the person who is speaking these words uses they will not be anything but angry words, whose purpose is very clearly not kindness. Give it a try and see if someone will feel something besides anger when you use these words directed towards them.

Okay now let’s get started with common dictionary definitions.

• Slut: “a promiscuous woman.” Derogatory.
• Skank: “a person, esp. a woman regarded as unattractive, sleazy, or immoral.” Slang.
• Whore: “a promiscuous woman.” Derogatory.

Needless to say these all reflect poorly on females who enjoy and have sex. And so I’d like to redefine these words so that they do not villainies woman for liking sex. And here are my definitions.

• Slut: “a man or woman who participates in a multitude of sexual acts with a multitude of partners without any sort of regard for any of the other parties involved.” Derogatory.
• Skank: “a man or woman who participates in sexual infidelity knowing that it is infidelity.” Derogatory.
• Whore: “a man or a woman who uses sex as a form of manipulation to further ones goals, and or personal gain without any sort of regard for any of the other parties involved.” Derogatory.

So my definitions might all be about sex and they do slightly villainize it, but you also have to notice that I did not go for gender specifics, and all include villainizable circumstances surrounding sex and not sex itself. To mention it again these words are only to be used strictly in anger. But not only in anger, but I do believe that there should be justified cause and recognizable proof before using these words. But since swearing is not something you do with intense forethought only justified cause is okay.

What this really is showing is the misuse of words. Considering the power language holds in today’s society it is good to learn to use it properly.

Post Script: What are some words that you think redefining?

Five Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Three characters. (Blog Of Love.)

In the spring of my eighteenth year I had this fascination with trying to analyze and explain love. Though in all honesty it was more for the purpose of convincing myself that love is not all bad and is something that I want and deserve. Now the love I am talking about is people love, the love either between two people, or the love one person has for another not the kind of love someone has for say their favourite food. From there I catagorised love in three different ways: Social, Familial, and Romantic.

Social love is the kind of love you have in association to social relationships “friendships”. The love shared between close friends, the friends that you can tell anything to, rely and depend on, the friends that you are not afraid to be yourself around because that’s what they expect of you. Familiar love is that which pertains to family. It is almost semi-obligatory sort of love, because no matter how mad they make you, or even if you claim to hate them, you still even if it is only subconsciously you always love your family. Now I should clarify or add that this is within reason I am not saying that every family has love in it, also I should mention that family transcends blood because there’s more to being family than sharing blood. Finally, romantic love, now I don’t mean the overly media saturated physical “love”. This is one of the problems in today’s society, love is an overused word also often misused meant to either receive physical gain or as some sort of manipulation tool. The media also has transformed romantic love into something that is needed to be happy, where as you don’t, you can easily be happy without being in a romantic relationship. But romantic love is just more than the love of friends, more than the obligatory love of family, because romantic love is not obligatory or compulsory it is a very natural and involuntary action. To paraphrase John Green “falling in love is like falling asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”

Now let’s talk about falling in romantic love, to be precise the physical effects and sometimes dependency in relation to falling in love. The results could end up being an addictive substance, not by any means comparable to caffeine, tobacco, controlled and illegal substances or alcohol (Yes, I do consider alcohol to be an addictive substance). Basically it is in the same category as any substance that has an effect on one’s neurochemistry. When it comes to falling in love it is the addiction to a combination of three specific chemicals that effect neurochemistry.

-Phenyl ethylamine: speeds up the flow of information between nerve cells.

-Dopamine: feel good chemical.

-Norepinephrine: stimulates adrenaline production, makes heart race faster.

This blend of these chemicals is what is known commonly as the “falling in love” stage of romantic relationships. The stimulation of that chemical combination can actually override the part of the brain that controls logical thinking. I have an issue with the addiction to this chemical concoction, and how this makes people almost dependent on being involved in romantic relationships to make themselves happy, and as a result when they aren’t in a romantic relationship they lose their sense of “self”, all they want is to be in a relationship and there can be no substitute for them having that feeling. These people hop easily from one relationship to another only ever getting through this first stage of a relationship. This helps promote the societal view that to be happy you need to be in a romantic relationship, which is completely false. The possible results of this are that they much like any other addict want more and then once it reaches the point in which the feelings change and the “high” wears off they believe that they have “fallen out of love” or they go the other way and they continue on with it, allowing the relationship to progress past the initial stage. But this could result in the relationship being either co-dependent or one member being heavily emotionally dependent on the other, whereas in a healthy relationship should be neither, but they should be independent partners.

Now, that could have seemed very negative and I have yet to discuss the power that love holds. If there is no power in love then it would not have anywhere near the same effect on us that it does. But perhaps the power love has is all due to us giving it that power. When you think about it, love can give you strength to do many things; inversely love can break a person beyond repair, and then turn around and fix it all. “Because when you love someone there’s no limit to what you can accomplish.” This quote from the TV show Kyle XY implies that there is some hidden power in love. This further explains how much power love holds, this shows that love has the power to make mountains crumble. Now, let us look at the saying “Time heals all wounds,” now in many ways this could very well be true but as I see it this does not apply to “firsts” (To be clear, firsts, first person you’re in love with, first person to break your heart, and first person you sleep with).  This is or course within reason but, you don’t generally forget your “firsts” because they are the ones who set down the initial framework for the future. Forgetting and/or getting over your “firsts” is one of the hardest things a person can go through in the scope of romantic relationships, and yet what is implied is that what it takes for this to happen is time. Now how I see it is not time that helps get you over your “firsts” but what really helps if finding that one person. But I want to be clear that finding that person should not be your driving force or ultimate priority. Because even though I said that finding that one person will help you finally get over your “firsts”, friends will help greatly and being with your friends a whole lot easier than finding a new person to be in a romantic relationship with.

The questions of love.

Is love for me? Can I even be in love? Or will I just hurt them as they try to love me? Is this what I want? Do I really want to open myself up for pain, depression, anger or sadness all in hopes that it turns out differently.

The decision to choose to love or allow yourself to be loved belongs to each person.

Post Script: Love is a natural force much like gravity, we as people cannot limit it. We should strive to let love flow, not try to control it, but adequately navigate it. As if we were a leaf in the wind getting.

Boxes

I'd like to preface this by saying that I usually first write this out before I type it here to edit myself. But I feel like this is something that shouldn't be edited and should just come straight out. (Also Josh this isn't the blog post I mentioned in my e-mail.)

I don't like boxes. I'm not talking about those physical boxes, but the immaterial boxes that we put people in, that we even put ourselves in. I don't fit in most literal boxes and if I do I overflow. Because trying to fit someone into being one single thing just doesn't work. And even if you can fit someone into a single box, who says this box is the same from one person to another. And for this same reason I don't think that you could properly even Venn diagram a person. Now this is because not only are people more than one thing, but people are just more, more than the sum of their parts. Now in saying all this I am reminded of the movie The Breakfast Club but in particular this quote "You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain ...and an athlete... and a basket case... a princess... and a criminal... Does that answer your question?" Now this just shows that this is not a new or an original idea and yet people are still doing it. 

Now, I'd like to explain what is bringing me to talk about this. And because I can only guess that my Twitter may get passed around due to me now having it in a way linked to a university club I am part of. 

So here's the situation. Me plus three other people sitting in a Tim Hortons around 10:30-ish and being election time in the United States, the topic of politics came up. So being Canadian, we were discussing which of the presidential candidates we'd vote for. Now in saying this we only limited this to Dems and Repubs, we left out Green and Libs, so it was Romney vs Obama. But unsurprisingly we all agreed that Obama should win, but that's not the part that sparked this but it was one of the post discussion comment made by one of the other people there. "Only I just think he's a little too pro-choice" paraphrased of course because what the exact words were. What I took away from it was that even though we share a religion, our beliefs are different, we are in the same box, but different boxes at the same time. At that time I mentally was curious to know what they would think if they found out that I am pro-choice, or that I am pro allowing gay marriage to happen.  I said "mentally curious" because I did not actually mention any of this. I have a problem discussing in person what my beliefs are with people that I'm not like super close with. This is because I can actually handle the internet trolls and criticism more than irl trolls and criticism. My mom and my close friends know more of the specifics of my beliefs, and that's just fine with me.

Post Script: A question: If you are American who do you plan on voting for, if you aren't who would you vote for? Leave your answers in comments below.

Post-Post Script: It appears that I have made just over $1.00 in AdSense money in September, so thank you. I will be posting more so I can get that up to $100 so Google will actually send me that money.

2013

Ok I know that I am late in this, but I am going to talk about New Year’s Resolutions. But I don’t believe in NYRs because they are usually hard to stay true to. It’s just like me trying to do NaNoWriMo this past year, I got one page double sided and I kind of gave that up. But I do believe in goal setting.

So I set myself three goals for 2013.

First Goal: I have a bunch of books that have not been read. And so I will be reading, I want to say 20 books leisurely this year; if I do more I will be happy. But the hard part will be choosing which to start with and the subsequent order.

Second Goal: I want to increase the amount of photos I take worthy of putting into a portfolio. And I want to put together a proper portfolio though I know it will be filled primarily with 2013 photos. The hard part for me will be making time and actually going out and taking photos.

Third Goal: Simply enough to continue doing this. By the end of 2013 I hope to have posted twice as many blogs as I did in 2012, which I don’t really see as being all that hard to do especially since I have plenty of ideas.

Goal update: 

Books- 2 started

Photos- Unsure

Blogs- 2^nd posted.

Post Script: The goal updates will not be consecutive but periodic. 

A late review

Ok it being later in the year than I had hoped and for that I feel as though I must apologize, but I will not apologize, this is because my absence is due to a desire to spend time with family because family is important. So, I am not sorry that this is late.

This is the blog that I intended for Pre New Years because this is my look back. Where I bring up amendments, additions and extra comments I have in association to the things I have written here over the 2012 year. Let’s dive right in.

So I started my 2012 blogging with talking about entering a photo into a contest followed the next day with how it did and me whining about it doing poorly. But that did not deter me, because they did an autumn showcase and I did enter again I still did not win, but this time I did not feel so bad about not winning. Here is the photo I entered. In my opinion a much better photo which I also framed and matted better than the first.

I also discussed starting the blog again, though I still don’t share it on Facebook, and I have stopped posting it to Twitter to prevent judgment from people I know IRL.

I then proceeded to talk about Twitter and communication. And this has not really changed a bit. I got blocked by a Twitter user that I followed because I was unable to properly convey my point in 140 characters, and me being, well, me. I proceeded to send several tweets consecutively in an attempt to get my point across. So I essentially spammed the Twitter user, got blocked and this was still even before I could entirely get my point across. I regret the spamming and getting blocked, but I don’t regret trying to stand up for something I believe in.

Then came two blogs which I have nothing to add to at this time.

Ahh, Boxes. Chronologically the first blog of 2012 I found myself proud of and what I actually referred back to in posts written after this one. Now looking back I can’t see if I mentioned this anywhere but I do believe that it is possible to both inside and outside of a box, not only that you can be in multiple boxes, or that you are in more than one box.

Looking back at the next post I made I realize that “Assumptions” and “Boxes” could have been merged into one post because they have some complementary ideas in them.

I then proceeded to talk about Christmas for five non-consecutive posts; I’ve got to say Christmas was great, and I’m not going to do any sort of haul post because I took a photo and put it on instagram http://instagram.com/p/T06a7PhQBe/

I also talked about using public restrooms which I still wholly stand behind.

I wrote a response to a YouTube video about me being scared about sharing the blog, I think that with the being a New Year I will start sharing this on Twitter again. Still a bit frightened about what some people on Facebook will think though.

For my birthday I shared 23 bits of unsolicited advice which I really enjoyed doing and next birthday I may very well share 24 bits.

Post Script: Double blog today. Also I need to get back into a blogging schedule. So sorry if this gets a little scattered.