My Journey In Feminism

I feel like I should preface this with the statement that I am human and with that it comes with the stunning surprise that I am not wrong, ever. And I hope the sarcasm was clear in that statement above. I would also hope that you don’t hold what I’m about to say against me, I’m going to talk about my journey into feminism.

I guess a good place to start would be with some definitions.

Dictionary definition: The Doctrine advocating social political and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

Definition when I asked a feminist: A movement towards gender equality, but now it's evolved and become intersectional meaning it also includes discussions of race, sexuality, class, etc. Essentially a movementtowards equality of all kinds.

Ignorant definition: Man hating female superiority.

And I won’t lie, I’ve thought each of those definitions were true at different times in my life. And currently, the feminists’ definition is the closest to something I believe in.

See, besides the government oppressing people’s rights, I do see music and other forms of media as one of the biggest blocks to the equality movement. I mean if you listen to a lot of the quote unquote popular music women are perceived as being either stupid or only useful for sex, not to mention how racial stereotypes are perpetuated in all sorts of media. Now I am not sure if a quote from this person is the best choice but it does fit in context.

“I feel like hip hop used to be a voice for the voiceless, and now it’s become at least in the mainstream; A symbol of misogyny, gay panic, fiscal irresponsibility.” – Bo Burnham

Though is does not provide any usable advice for how we could change things but it does bring to light one of the many problems that seems to just go widely accepted in society. Now saying that, there was that one song by Robin Thicke, which I can’t even quote or even properly use as an example because I cannot be bothered to listen to or Google the lyrics based on the unanimous hatred for the song. But eliminating hate speech, and actions in the media would only do so much. What we really need is a massive change in peoples thinking. To be precise, we need to change what people joke about, because I know this is crap, but if something is laughed at it is all people need to believe that something is acceptable to do. This means no sammich jokes, wide based generalizations, and even making light or the stereotypical gender roll definitions. Because it is just as okay for the men to be single or stay at home parents just as it is for women, there is no job that I can think of that a man can do better than a woman; I do believe that women can do anything and everything just as good as a man can. Women can raise children without there being a man involved just as well as if there was and the same thing goes for men. And that is the major problem with people making objections to same sex couples having or adopting children and their objections are absolutely ridiculous.

 So there are a couple problems with my above statements, which I found while typing this up. One, being I was using gender binary terms where I did not mean to exclude non gender binary peoples. Two, I primarily focused on binary gender issues I didn’t even go too far into issues around race, non-binary genders, and so many more things that feminism is about. Three, the true problem with people is not their physical appearance. When the real problems are with people’s personalities, we need to treat people based on who they are not what they look like or who they are romantically or sexually interested in.

Okay so society is all about progress right? Living longer, being better, having a better understanding of the universe. If we didn’t strive for progress then why are there constantly technological and medical advancements? Now what we really need to do if we really wish to be a truly progressive society is one word, Equality. And some people will say that we already do lie in an equal society, but pardon my French that is Bullshit. The white man is still figuratively king, women and non-binary gendered people are not given adequate or even proper recognition, and people with any skin tone besides white get judged far too often, quickly, and stereotyped even further from there. Okay and you know what love is? Love is an energy, it cannot be created or destroyed, and comes in many forms. If more people understood this it wouldn’t really matter what people looked like, who people were or whomever they liked, they would treat each other as if they were just people. We all share the same planet and that should be good enough to treat each other well and properly.

Post Script: I once again need to reiterate that I am no expert in this field, and I am still learning and going forward in this journey. Because I cannot change the mind of anyone else until my own mind is good. I also figured that after a couple posts aside from last weeks on the primary physical, a deeper post was needed.

Pretty, Cute, Beautiful, Hot: a guide to proper use and distinction.

In a way all four of those words could be used in one way or another to describe the attractiveness of someone. But how do you know which word is right to use and when it was right to use them. Welcome to another lesson on the words we choose to use. And much link where I talked about Sluts,Skanks, and Whores, these are words we use to describe people. (I chose not to include handsome as I don’t use it like ever.)

I’d like to start with a brief explanation as to the order: Pretty, Cute, Beautiful, and Hot. Now it may have been easier to do it alphabetically, or I could try and sort them into a leveling system where each one quantified attractiveness. But no, what I did was pair them off, pretty and cute, then beautiful and hot, now I did this because though they all are different words which describe attractiveness I believe the pairs are conflicting sets. Not in the sense that they are so different that they are conflicting, but in the sense that they are so similar and yet so different that they are in conflict. That is why I chose to clarify their meanings and usages.

First: Pretty and Cute.

Now these two words have an old meaning in common, and it was a far less superficial meaning. They both at one time meant clever, but this was back when clever was not quite as much an admirable trait as it is nowadays. But that was then, and now they have more, I don’t want to say superficial but since they are about positive physical attributes, I don’t quite know how to put it. I mean think about it, Pretty is “attractive in a delicate, dainty, or graceful way without stateliness” and Cute is a “shy attractiveness” or “attractive, endearing, charming, clever, or ingenious” but those are just dictionary definitions. But how can you tell which to use in common language? Well I guess that’s what I’m doing here.

So pretty is a form of attractiveness (obviously), it is not subtle, but also is not obvious. A pretty thing or person is delicate or possesses a delicate manner. Their appeal is a simple thing, meaning that it does not need to be thought upon, if asked why something is pretty the only answer to that should be “because it is”. If there was a word that meant intensely pleasing but not shockingly so (in association to appearance), that word would perfectly describe how I tend to use pretty. Now cute can be another form of attractiveness (again obviously), unlike pretty though it is not necessarily a physical thing. (This is not saying pretty is only physical, but it’s primarily attribute is physical).Cuteness is a clever thing; it is subtle which is why it is called a “shy attractiveness”. But this is still about the physical in actuality; cute is a way to describe someone’s overflowing passion for a thing. Cute can also be an emotional reaction; so happy you’re literally or even figuratively bouncing up and down, an authentic or even fake pouty disappointment. I’ve always seen cute as being a specific term, not a generalization. In closing, pretty is primarily physical and cute is a blend of physical and non-physical. (My preference is cute over pretty, but that’s just me).

Second: Beautiful and Hot.

These two are more intense, and differed greatly where Pretty and Cute did only slightly. But, I will begin by defining hot and switching the order around because I am more passionate about the word Beautiful.

Hot in this sense has a slang definition; good looking, sexy, lustful, or sexually aroused. Also could be intense sexual desire or attraction. In a definition that I am not going to explore it means passionate or excited. Now that is the dictionary definition, not mine, not exactly. On to mine now, Hot is used to describe something solely physical or sexual. It is a very simple thing, if you find their body physically or sexually appealing even without knowing anything else about them then hot is the appropriate word. Finding or thinking someone hot is an immediate reactionary response; it is a base animalistic reaction. Now if I were to say Hot is something very superficial, you might think I were saying it was a bad thing but it is not, it is instinct, natural, normal to find someone hot. But it is not necessarily good either, because of its’ simple nature some people tend to rely in it far too much. Now, on to Beautiful. Beautiful is rooted in Latin words meaning pretty, fine, or blessed and happy, now blessed is probably the closest of these that come to my “true meaning”. Beautiful is a complex word, it is not simple or something that could be boxed up. It is not to be a reactionary word, its’ usage is meant to be a well thought out thing. (Now I don’t really want to go into an examination of the question “what is beauty?” because that would be a post on to its self, and this is more about the word beautiful and when to use it). So where hot was purely one thing, and that one thing being physical, beautiful is to be used for instances or more than physicality but including the physical, it is an all-encompassing thing. Being beautiful is more than one thing; it is not the singular parts of a thing, but the whole of it. Where the whole is body, and mind, and soul; if you think of it like one of those fighting video games like Tekken or Street Fighter, beautiful is the penultimate combo move, or Scorpions’ finishing move in the original Mortal Kombat game. It is like combining the Triforce of power, wisdom, and courage. Okay now getting away from video game analogies. And it has to be a complete combination, not just one part, two parts, but it has to be all parts. So see, an excerpt from a book can be good, but it is not a complete novel, in the same way a person can be physically attractive and intellectually appealing, but unless they are a good person as well they are not beautiful. To be clear, it’s okay to be hot, and it is okay to want to be hot, but really what you want is to be beautiful, or find someone who thinks you’re beautiful, that way you know it matters, because that way you know it’s real. I mean you want to sleep with hot; you might even want to date hot but really hot is just a shadow of beautiful. Because you still want to sleep with beautiful, date beautiful, but really it is really just a pleasure to be around beautiful things and people.

In conclusion, these words are not bad things; I mean they all had to do with attraction and attractivity. And attractiveness is a desirable trait but really it is not something that should be a person’s primary focus. It’s good if you’re pretty sure, but unless you’re something more it’s just dull. It is truly more important to be interesting than attractive. But that is why what is good is to be beautiful, but still not the only thing you should be.

Post Script: It feels good to be blogging again. Now I don’t know when this is going to be posted because though it is the first one being typed up I know that it won’t be the first one posted, that honour is reserved for my In memoriam. But I am writing and typing and posting, and that just feel more right.

Body Modifications Part 3.

The Big Time: Surgery.

Now this could be the most controversial of the three. Surgery does carry a certain stigma around it, and if you read what I wrote about piercings you’re probably thinking that I will be all against it. But surgery has both its goods and its bads.

Let me start with the differences between cosmetic surgery and plastic surgery, because this may surprise you but they are not the same things.

Cosmetic surgery and plastic surgery are not the same thing:

Cosmetic surgery procedures enhance a person's appearance toward some aesthetic ideal.

Cosmetic surgery is practiced by doctors from a variety of medical fields including dermatologists, facial plastic surgeons, general surgeons, gynecologists, oral and maxillofacial surgeons, ophthalmologists, otolaryngologists, plastic surgeons, as well as doctors from other fields.

Unlike cosmetic surgery, plastic surgery focuses on repairing and reconstructing abnormal structures of the body caused by birth defects, developmental abnormalities, trauma, infection, tumors or disease.

And so with those lines drawn you might be thinking that I’m just gonna say cosmetic bad, plastic good. But it’s not as simple as that, and by those definitions plastic is good, but that does not necessarily mean that cosmetic is bad though. But it isn’t, not always anyways. I do believe that surgery should be the last choice not the first one. I am a big proponent of loving the body you’re in or learning to love the body you’re in. But I also so acknowledge that it is not always possible for this to happen. And in that case I do believe that if there is nothing else that can be done, cosmetic surgery is a completely acceptable option. As I said before it shouldn’t be a first choice, but a last resort. Now I should be clear that if you think that changing your body because you think it will make someone else like you more. No, simply no. Don’t get surgery to impress someone else, because if they have a problem with your body it is not you it’s them.

See now I am not even sure if it is something that surgeons let you rush into. Because piercings can be taken out, tattoos can be removed, but surgery is not always as easily reversible and there’s no guarantee that it will turn out the way you want it to.

Think hard and embrace your quote unquote imperfections before you decide to surgically change them. Because I’d like to believe that changing your mind is more beneficial than changing your body.

Post Script: I’m sure is more research that I could do on this, but I do think this does cover the point I am trying to get across. Also I am hoping that I can keep up on regular posts. I think I am doing good so far. Wednesdays are good right?