Five by five.

It’s easy for me to share my opinions on a wide variety of topics including life, love, and body modification, but when it comes to talking about myself, my feelings and you know me in general I tend to struggle. And currently little by little I am trying to push myself, so I am going to try and write about myself, well, okay I am going to give you my annual list of things about myself. And since it is my 25^th here are 5 sets of five things about me.

1. I struggle with knowing when the right opportunity to act is.

2. I struggle with talking to new people. Especially girls.

3. I struggle with meeting people and large crowds.

4. I struggle with reading subtext and body language.

5. I struggle with me.

6. One of my strengths is making jokes even if I’m the only one who gets them.

7. One of my strengths is that I’m loyal and don’t like to let people go.

8. One of my strengths is that I am a good listener.

9. One of my strengths is that I am very good at keeping secrets.

10. One of my strengths is that I am a good photographer.

11. I habitually make references to things a lot of people around me don’t understand, but it doesn’t discourage me.

12. I habitually say exactly the wrong things and exactly the wrong times.

13. I habitually run away as a means of escaping.

14. I habitually spend my free time alone not doing what I mean to do.

15. I habitually jokingly tease people I like, less so if romantic interest is involved.

16. I am turned on by passion.

17. I am turned on by blue eyes.

18. I am turned on by nerdy obsessions, habits, and or hobbies.

19. I am turned on by Intelligence.

20. I am turned on by Independence.

21. I am turned off by smoking.

22. I am turned off by known ignorance.

23. I am turned off by closed mindedness.

24. I am turned off by doormats.

25. I am turned off by futility and monotony.

Post Script: I wrote this in one draft for once which is odd for anything I post; I was sitting in Starbucks being far too nervous to talk to the cute girl sitting beside me. Which could easily have had some impact on this post. Also I may end up posting a second thing later on.

Written A Year Apart. What looks to me like growth.

A blog in two parts.

Part 1. (Written Fall 2013)

Let’s talk about Halloween, because I’m annoyed by the phrase “I don’t celebrate/do Halloween, I’m Christian”. And it’s only been this year (last year) that I have actually taken notice of this, though I’m sure that I have been exposed to this phrase or some variation of it before. It could be that now I have a job that is big into Halloween, or that I am listening better, or something else that I haven’t thought of.

I’ve never understood why there are certain things that some (not all) Christians abstain from where as other embrace those same things. Now I say abstain, and it could be assumed that I am talking about sex, alcohol, and specific foods, because that makes sense with biblical law. What I’m talking about in some ways is Christian parents pushing their personal brand of beliefs onto their children. This once again brings me back to Halloween, (or for another example I’ve experienced, modern rock music, regardless of whether or not it is a Christian musician/group or not) because though it does derive it’s origin from the belief that it was the one day of the year that the spirits of the dead return to the mortal realm, or something else ridiculous like that. But now it’s origin, though not forgotten, no stock is put in it, or at least not in common place, and yet there are those who question Halloween and stick to thinking that it was inherently bad and thus forcing this belief on their children being excluded from the average practices surrounding Halloween. The days has now been reclaimed by Western Society as a reason to put on costumes, get or give out candy or even just be someone else for a few hours.

Now if this was a universal practice among Christians I don’t think I would find this to be so irritating. But the disdain for Halloween is only a personal choice or at least that’s what I’ve always thought, seen, and believed. I’ve known pastors who dress up for Halloween, and members of their congregation refuse to even consider that western society’s reclamation removed the paganism from the thing.

Part 2. (Written Fall 2014)

Rereading to the point above I am realizing that almost around a year after writing it what I am doing is bashing how people have taken to making their beliefs their own. I am not saying that I understand why they don’t celebrate it I am saying that I am not angry about it anymore, and that I understand where the lack of uniformity is coming from. Because they’re just doing what I’m doing, in that I myself am making my beliefs my own, and I think more people need to do that, or take a critical look at what they believe including the “rules” that are imposed by their beliefs’ central supposed authority or text.

My only issue now is one that I touched on in part 1 and that is if their beliefs are dictated by what their parents believe and thus just what they did while growing up. Because blindly following your parents’ beliefs are still not making them your own. Blind belief is not a good thing; logically you should know what you believe and why you believe it. Now this might seem like it contradicts the commonly quoted Bible verse “walk by faith, not by sight”, but it is my opinion that belief and faith are two different things. Belief is “an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists”, whereas Faith is “belief that is not based on proof”. So the way I see it the verse is closely related to the Switchfoot lyric “Doubt your doubts, and believe your beliefs”.

And that could be the overall message behind this post, or at least one of them. One of the others is being related to learning about your beliefs and not just going with whatever your parents tell you to.

So this was a post written in two parts a year apart from each other. Starting out as a rant about people not celebrating Halloween, and it turned into me going on about how people should not blindly believe things and how people should make their beliefs their own.

Post Script: As always there is probably more that I could add, and more to learn to add, if I come across it I will share it maybe by a new post or by updating this one. Either way if there is more for me to share I will share it. Also I hope that I will have other posts written before this one besides my one on feminism because I am scheduling this one for the week of Halloween.

I know this might seem like I am making excuses...

But there is once again no proper post this week. There has been a death in the family.

I'm Sorry.

I'm sorry, there is no proper post today. This passed weekend was Canadian Thanksgiving and my mom drove down for a couple days, so needless to say, I've been busy. Too busy to get something finished and posted. It happens sometimes, but I should be back next week.

Dating Terms. A blog response.

Recently I read a blog post from another blogger that one of my Facebook friends had shared, and it was about dating terms and how they’d changed since the writer had gotten married, he called it a “hazy, undefined dating-but-not-dating scene”. I’m not sure how long he’d been married but he made it seem like it had been at least a little while. He assumed these terms are used due to fear of commitment, and with continuing and increasing reliance social media and technology, of course dating terms have changed. So I am going to venture a try at clarifying some of the terms he mentioned.

The two new terms he used were “hungout/ hanging out” and “talking/texting”, but he also went into the older term of “courting”. So I will explain what he couldn’t

Let’s start with “talking/texting”, now I know these things are not unique to this situation and therein lies the source of confusion. You talk and text with people that you’re not romantically linked to, or wish to be. You also can do this before you find yourself romantically linked to them.

 So how do you differentiate texting with a friend and texting with romantic interest?

Well it’s simple, two words, “Romantic Intent”, now what this means is that your intentions are to potentially lead that conversation either verbal or electronic in a romantic direction. Now this isn’t to be confused with flirting, because even though flirting is a part of this not all of flirting has the Romantic Intent that this form of “talking/texting” does. Some people are naturally flirty, some people oblivious to their own flirting, and Romantic Intent is a conscious thing, that’s because romance it’s self is a conscious thing elsewise it is a subconscious, animal, basic instinct.

Now on to “hung/hanging out” and once again these are words that do not necessarily have a romantic connotation to quote the original blogger whom I am responding to “Hanging out is how we describe what we do with our buddies”, and even in my further explanation it is not necessarily “romantic” but it is also not in the common definition of the words. This is because “hung/hanging out” could potentially mean one of two things; One being pre-dating(romantic) and two being a physical thing (could be romantic, but not always). I will talk about them in that order. Pre-dating is as it seems to, literally before dating, and “talking/texting” is a big part of this. Conversational chemistry is only one part of what is necessary for the romantic relationship known as dating. Now this might need a little more clarification; once again there is “Romantic Intent” but there is a greater proximity aspect to this but not a physicality to it. I know that this still sounds like dating except with no physical aspect but this comprises of non-dating activities. So I’m talking about things like quick coffees, grocery shopping, exercising, short walks, even a movie under the right circumstances but there’s no holding hands, kissing, or cuddling(things that buddies do), but maybe a hug once and again depending on circumstance. Now these are not requirements, because at this point what is between the two people involved are still in an essentially undefined state. Then there’s the other definition where “hanging out” is a euphemism for having sex, and this one doesn’t necessarily have to have any trace of romantic intent, this could include friends with benefits, “fun” buddies, random hookups, pretty much any opportunity where sex is being had could be described as hanging out. I am pretty sure that was the assumption that was made in his blog post. And he made it seem like that was the only option where it could very well be an option but not the only one. This related to him complaining about hooking up, he didn’t bash it directly but he did call it “teenage” and used the phrase “vague, timid, code words of high school freshmen”, also describing it as “embarrassing. Almost as if you weren’t in any sort of a committed relationship you’re doing it wrong. And with that I believe that there’s an implied aspect of quote unquote slut shaming there.

There were other things in this post that I had issues with beyond his lack of knowledge on evolving language that I had issues with. For one he appeared to put the onus of blame on only men for this. Especially since it is not always men who are unclear with their intentions or desire for casuality in relationship. And in relationship to that he compared a casuality or lack of definition in relationships to an inherit immaturity in men, and it being a result of fear.

Post Script: I am realizing how much I think about love and relationships, or at least how much it appears that I do. When in reality most of these posts are just me figuring or at least trying to figure things out. This post should have been up sooner, considering when I had read the original post, it was all in my head and I had just needed the time to get it all out.

My Journey In Feminism

I feel like I should preface this with the statement that I am human and with that it comes with the stunning surprise that I am not wrong, ever. And I hope the sarcasm was clear in that statement above. I would also hope that you don’t hold what I’m about to say against me, I’m going to talk about my journey into feminism.

I guess a good place to start would be with some definitions.

Dictionary definition: The Doctrine advocating social political and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

Definition when I asked a feminist: A movement towards gender equality, but now it's evolved and become intersectional meaning it also includes discussions of race, sexuality, class, etc. Essentially a movementtowards equality of all kinds.

Ignorant definition: Man hating female superiority.

And I won’t lie, I’ve thought each of those definitions were true at different times in my life. And currently, the feminists’ definition is the closest to something I believe in.

See, besides the government oppressing people’s rights, I do see music and other forms of media as one of the biggest blocks to the equality movement. I mean if you listen to a lot of the quote unquote popular music women are perceived as being either stupid or only useful for sex, not to mention how racial stereotypes are perpetuated in all sorts of media. Now I am not sure if a quote from this person is the best choice but it does fit in context.

“I feel like hip hop used to be a voice for the voiceless, and now it’s become at least in the mainstream; A symbol of misogyny, gay panic, fiscal irresponsibility.” – Bo Burnham

Though is does not provide any usable advice for how we could change things but it does bring to light one of the many problems that seems to just go widely accepted in society. Now saying that, there was that one song by Robin Thicke, which I can’t even quote or even properly use as an example because I cannot be bothered to listen to or Google the lyrics based on the unanimous hatred for the song. But eliminating hate speech, and actions in the media would only do so much. What we really need is a massive change in peoples thinking. To be precise, we need to change what people joke about, because I know this is crap, but if something is laughed at it is all people need to believe that something is acceptable to do. This means no sammich jokes, wide based generalizations, and even making light or the stereotypical gender roll definitions. Because it is just as okay for the men to be single or stay at home parents just as it is for women, there is no job that I can think of that a man can do better than a woman; I do believe that women can do anything and everything just as good as a man can. Women can raise children without there being a man involved just as well as if there was and the same thing goes for men. And that is the major problem with people making objections to same sex couples having or adopting children and their objections are absolutely ridiculous.

 So there are a couple problems with my above statements, which I found while typing this up. One, being I was using gender binary terms where I did not mean to exclude non gender binary peoples. Two, I primarily focused on binary gender issues I didn’t even go too far into issues around race, non-binary genders, and so many more things that feminism is about. Three, the true problem with people is not their physical appearance. When the real problems are with people’s personalities, we need to treat people based on who they are not what they look like or who they are romantically or sexually interested in.

Okay so society is all about progress right? Living longer, being better, having a better understanding of the universe. If we didn’t strive for progress then why are there constantly technological and medical advancements? Now what we really need to do if we really wish to be a truly progressive society is one word, Equality. And some people will say that we already do lie in an equal society, but pardon my French that is Bullshit. The white man is still figuratively king, women and non-binary gendered people are not given adequate or even proper recognition, and people with any skin tone besides white get judged far too often, quickly, and stereotyped even further from there. Okay and you know what love is? Love is an energy, it cannot be created or destroyed, and comes in many forms. If more people understood this it wouldn’t really matter what people looked like, who people were or whomever they liked, they would treat each other as if they were just people. We all share the same planet and that should be good enough to treat each other well and properly.

Post Script: I once again need to reiterate that I am no expert in this field, and I am still learning and going forward in this journey. Because I cannot change the mind of anyone else until my own mind is good. I also figured that after a couple posts aside from last weeks on the primary physical, a deeper post was needed.

Dear Prince Rupert.

Dear Prince Rupert,

I know I don’t live in you anymore, and I haven’t for years and it has been four years since my last visit but I do love you and I want the best for you.  I think what’s best for you is Blair. I’ve known Blair for I’d say 13 years now, and yes for a majority of that we haven’t lived in the same place so I wouldn’t call us close, but none the less I do consider him a friend and I know that gives me a certain bias. I do believe that my love for Prince Rupert outweighs that bias, and I know the mayoral and city council doesn’t exactly affect me but it does affect you and I care about you.

Let me tell you about Blair. In all the time that I’ve known him, I have not known Blair to make the bad choice; where bad is meaning not good and not bad meaning wrong. He has never been one to talk about people behind their backs or even to speak ill about people in general and he tended to be inclusive no matter how weird the person(me). Blair has always been smart and reliable but he has never been cocky about it. He is and always has been a good person. Now, ask yourselves in today’s world what does politics need? and the answer is good people this is because good people will bring about a good change wherever they have influence.

It is my belief that Blair Mirau is one of these people for Prince Rupert. He is running on a platform of accountability, efficiency, and prosperity and how I see it those also branch off to transparency, fiscal responsibility, and increased inter-community co-operation. I know what you might be thinking now, these are all common promises made by many politicians running for office.  But it in my heart I know that if there were one person who could make these promises and do their hardest to follow through on them, that person is Blair Mirau.

In closing, I believe in Blair Mirau.

From Tommy Roberts

Pretty, Cute, Beautiful, Hot: a guide to proper use and distinction.

In a way all four of those words could be used in one way or another to describe the attractiveness of someone. But how do you know which word is right to use and when it was right to use them. Welcome to another lesson on the words we choose to use. And much link where I talked about Sluts,Skanks, and Whores, these are words we use to describe people. (I chose not to include handsome as I don’t use it like ever.)

I’d like to start with a brief explanation as to the order: Pretty, Cute, Beautiful, and Hot. Now it may have been easier to do it alphabetically, or I could try and sort them into a leveling system where each one quantified attractiveness. But no, what I did was pair them off, pretty and cute, then beautiful and hot, now I did this because though they all are different words which describe attractiveness I believe the pairs are conflicting sets. Not in the sense that they are so different that they are conflicting, but in the sense that they are so similar and yet so different that they are in conflict. That is why I chose to clarify their meanings and usages.

First: Pretty and Cute.

Now these two words have an old meaning in common, and it was a far less superficial meaning. They both at one time meant clever, but this was back when clever was not quite as much an admirable trait as it is nowadays. But that was then, and now they have more, I don’t want to say superficial but since they are about positive physical attributes, I don’t quite know how to put it. I mean think about it, Pretty is “attractive in a delicate, dainty, or graceful way without stateliness” and Cute is a “shy attractiveness” or “attractive, endearing, charming, clever, or ingenious” but those are just dictionary definitions. But how can you tell which to use in common language? Well I guess that’s what I’m doing here.

So pretty is a form of attractiveness (obviously), it is not subtle, but also is not obvious. A pretty thing or person is delicate or possesses a delicate manner. Their appeal is a simple thing, meaning that it does not need to be thought upon, if asked why something is pretty the only answer to that should be “because it is”. If there was a word that meant intensely pleasing but not shockingly so (in association to appearance), that word would perfectly describe how I tend to use pretty. Now cute can be another form of attractiveness (again obviously), unlike pretty though it is not necessarily a physical thing. (This is not saying pretty is only physical, but it’s primarily attribute is physical).Cuteness is a clever thing; it is subtle which is why it is called a “shy attractiveness”. But this is still about the physical in actuality; cute is a way to describe someone’s overflowing passion for a thing. Cute can also be an emotional reaction; so happy you’re literally or even figuratively bouncing up and down, an authentic or even fake pouty disappointment. I’ve always seen cute as being a specific term, not a generalization. In closing, pretty is primarily physical and cute is a blend of physical and non-physical. (My preference is cute over pretty, but that’s just me).

Second: Beautiful and Hot.

These two are more intense, and differed greatly where Pretty and Cute did only slightly. But, I will begin by defining hot and switching the order around because I am more passionate about the word Beautiful.

Hot in this sense has a slang definition; good looking, sexy, lustful, or sexually aroused. Also could be intense sexual desire or attraction. In a definition that I am not going to explore it means passionate or excited. Now that is the dictionary definition, not mine, not exactly. On to mine now, Hot is used to describe something solely physical or sexual. It is a very simple thing, if you find their body physically or sexually appealing even without knowing anything else about them then hot is the appropriate word. Finding or thinking someone hot is an immediate reactionary response; it is a base animalistic reaction. Now if I were to say Hot is something very superficial, you might think I were saying it was a bad thing but it is not, it is instinct, natural, normal to find someone hot. But it is not necessarily good either, because of its’ simple nature some people tend to rely in it far too much. Now, on to Beautiful. Beautiful is rooted in Latin words meaning pretty, fine, or blessed and happy, now blessed is probably the closest of these that come to my “true meaning”. Beautiful is a complex word, it is not simple or something that could be boxed up. It is not to be a reactionary word, its’ usage is meant to be a well thought out thing. (Now I don’t really want to go into an examination of the question “what is beauty?” because that would be a post on to its self, and this is more about the word beautiful and when to use it). So where hot was purely one thing, and that one thing being physical, beautiful is to be used for instances or more than physicality but including the physical, it is an all-encompassing thing. Being beautiful is more than one thing; it is not the singular parts of a thing, but the whole of it. Where the whole is body, and mind, and soul; if you think of it like one of those fighting video games like Tekken or Street Fighter, beautiful is the penultimate combo move, or Scorpions’ finishing move in the original Mortal Kombat game. It is like combining the Triforce of power, wisdom, and courage. Okay now getting away from video game analogies. And it has to be a complete combination, not just one part, two parts, but it has to be all parts. So see, an excerpt from a book can be good, but it is not a complete novel, in the same way a person can be physically attractive and intellectually appealing, but unless they are a good person as well they are not beautiful. To be clear, it’s okay to be hot, and it is okay to want to be hot, but really what you want is to be beautiful, or find someone who thinks you’re beautiful, that way you know it matters, because that way you know it’s real. I mean you want to sleep with hot; you might even want to date hot but really hot is just a shadow of beautiful. Because you still want to sleep with beautiful, date beautiful, but really it is really just a pleasure to be around beautiful things and people.

In conclusion, these words are not bad things; I mean they all had to do with attraction and attractivity. And attractiveness is a desirable trait but really it is not something that should be a person’s primary focus. It’s good if you’re pretty sure, but unless you’re something more it’s just dull. It is truly more important to be interesting than attractive. But that is why what is good is to be beautiful, but still not the only thing you should be.

Post Script: It feels good to be blogging again. Now I don’t know when this is going to be posted because though it is the first one being typed up I know that it won’t be the first one posted, that honour is reserved for my In memoriam. But I am writing and typing and posting, and that just feel more right.

Redheads.

So I am not one to try and hide my nerdiness on this blog, I mean I’ve written two blog posts involving Final Fantasy VII. So it really shouldn’t be too much of a stretch for you to learn that my attraction to redheads started with Jean Grey, she was smart, hot for a comic book/cartoon character, and also she could read minds and had telekinesis. Also when I was younger Cyclops had personality traits which I aspired to have: leadership, respect, superpowers, and the girl. Now, I see that he’s a bit of a douche, has a hard time thinking for himself, and habitually plagued with self-doubt (but that’s probably why when I was younger I wanted to be Spider-Man, but then Mary-Jane Watson there fueled my redheaded love). But Scott Summers is not what I am here to talk about. And though for a long time I lacked any opportunity to express it, my affection for redheads didn’t wane.

It wasn’t again until high school that I met my first redheaded crush.  And well from there I formed my first opinion on redheads. And sadly it was a generalization, but it was more of an environmental thing rather than people’s personalities being in any way related to their hair colour. It was a dumbass thing to think at the time, and I know that I should have known better especially even then I knew that the reputation blondes is completely false.

So here is an excerpt from a thing I wrote in 2008 on redheads.

“Redheads, gingers, touched by fire, call them what you want they have always eluded me everything from behavioral pattern to common interests, all but one thing I have observed they they all seem to have in common. A superiority complex, they may not admit it but they all protrude an air of being better than all the rest.”

It is so obvious to me now that I was so very wrong. I never saw their passion, their intelligence, their creativity, or their determination. I only ever saw the fire in their hair, but never the fire in their souls.

Now I know I am still putting a lot of stock into physical appearance, and still am making plenty assumptions about people passed on a single physical attribute. I know this is wrong, I know that. Whole heartedly I know that the physical is fleeting and that it is on the inside that counts. But that’s not saying that the physical has no effect on personality, because it does. But that’s what I am looking for though, someone with passion, intelligence, determination and someone who lets their souls' fire burn bright and hot. Someone who is a redhead on the inside.

Before I finish I’d like to address the supposed soullessness of redheads. Because to lack a soul is to lack fundamental personhood, for someone to be soulless is to truly be less than human, they would be literally a sub-human species. And to classify someone let alone a whole group of people in that way is just far too degrading to be allowed to happen.

Post Script: If it wasn’t obvious, I’m back. Now in my defense I did say it might be a while. Plus the summer weather is a little too nice to write and not going out exploring, enjoying and photographing.

In Memoriam.

Now I don’t claim to be the right person to write this, because I didn’t know the man, and I never even met him. I only know him through some of his work. (If that could be considered knowing.) I am of course talking about the late Robin Williams. This is written in his memory; it is a thank you letter of sorts.

I’d like to preface his by saying that of the many things I am, one of them is an escape artist. Meaning that when I find myself in a bind or a tough situation in general I tend to escape if that means cutting ties, submerging myself into work, or ignoring the world by diving into the many worlds of books, movies or video games; even your own imagination can be an escape. I’ve been escaping reality for as long as I can remember. This is because growing up wasn’t always the easiest thing for me and escaping was.

Most of the Robin Williams movies that I’ve watched for the first time were in a period before Netflix, Facebook, or even Myspace, in the 90’s and early 2000’s. This was the time period of my life where I found myself in elementary school, most of which I found myself getting bullied at school and part of it I found myself getting verbally abused at home. So I would escape because that’s what came naturally to me. At that time my preferred modes of escape were TV/movies and my own imagination, and besides Star Wars my most commonly watched movies were comedies because who doesn’t link to laugh when they’re having a bad day. So I would watch Aladdin, Mrs. Doubtfire, and Hook… his kid-centric movies. Then as I got older I’d watch Jack, Jumanji, Bicentennial Man. And though my taste in movies matured I still went on to enjoy his style. And I’d laugh and be happy during the time his movies provided; they allowed a brief escape from my reality.

But I didn’t stop watching his movies once my reality changed, it only meant that I didn’t have to rely or use them to make me laugh. I could watch them for the purpose of enjoyment, because I wanted to, I could even watch Robin Williams’ movies for nostalgic reasons.

I wish I could have met you and told you this in person, and sadly now I cannot. But Thank you Robin Williams, for all that you’ve done for me and everyone else that you’ve touched.

O, captain my captain. You Will be missed.

No post script here, not this time.

Aeris, Gossip Girl, and assumptions.

I’ve been trying to think of how to put this because I haven’t found the correct way to put this, because I haven’t found the right word/s to describe it. I could say it is about second chances but I’ve always felt that it is something that applies more so to people rather than things. That’s not what I plan on talking about though, what I’m trying to talk about is more about revisiting assumptions. It might be easier if what I do is use an example.

The first thing that comes to mind is Aeris or Aerith depending on your choice of translation. Now this might be an outdated example, but I think it’s the most accurate one that I’ve got. So Aeris was a video game character, the archetypal healer, and you get her close to the beginning of the game, but around a third of the way through she dies, and it is inevitable to stop if you wish for the story to progress at all. And so I found myself thinking what was obvious, “why use a character that ends up dying,” or “why use a healer, when there are other ways to save and heal your other characters.” I thought she was useless, and in some ways she still kind of is. But now, looking back at her I think she is integral, not only because you realize by the end of the game that she had a purpose but how her perma-death added a certain level of depth and character that I had previously not noticed in video games. But only for the reason that she wasn’t permanently playable, I wouldn’t play her. But in my most recent play through, I really don’t want to let her die. Though the main character’s inability to help stop someone he cares about from getting hurt also strikes a personal cord with me. Because I was unable to help someone.

Another example may help.

So at the time that I started writing this I had just finished watching Gossip Girl, and the fact that it turned out to be a much better show than I had expected, it semi-inspired me to write this. My first thoughts on the show, this is of course based on me having never watched even a single episode before and only having read small plot descriptions and seeing a television trailer or two. So I just thought it was going to be rich kids with rich kid problems. And in part I was right. But that’s not all it was. The characters were compelling, interesting, and more than initially seemed and at the end you realize that it all was just one big love story. And had I not given it a chance I wouldn’t have realized that interesting character driven television dramas were still being created with young adults in mind.

After writing this I realize that it is in part about revisiting assumptions, part about not judging a book by its cover and a bigger part about me talking about things I like. But I want to try and change that.

Now I may have mentioned this in a previous post because I already have assumptions as one of my tags. But assuming makes an ass(out of)u(and)me. And this more than anything has motivated me to revisit some of my old assumptions, but also in an attempt to better myself. Because it is not just in the present where you can change, change can be made for the future in the past.  Because it is not just good to change who you are but to learn from whom you were as well.

I hope this helps someone look back on something that they had previously dismissed, thought badly on, or even ignored based on hearsay or someone else’s experiences.

Post Script: Thinking back on this I find that a Switchfoot quote comes to mind. “Doubt your doubts and believe your beliefs.” I feel like that quote actually kind of works when it comes to this post. And at the time of me scheduling this post, I actually have no more fully written, which could end up being kind of worrisome because I don’t know if more will be posted after this one for a while. But I do hope there will be.

Jack and his Many Skills.

Let me tell you about my friend Jack, (well okay his name isn’t actually Jack per say, it’s just that he can do so many things, and so I consider him to be somewhat of a Jack of all trades (even though all trades is a little bit of a stretch.) But he can do a great many things, more than me, and some of the things that he does/has done are things that I myself wish I could do. He is that friend many of us have who inspires us to do more, that friend we aspire to be more like.

(Don’t worry this is going somewhere.) It took me much time and money to find my preferred artistic outlet, at first I thought sketching and so I bought a nice sketchbook and some decent pencil sets. I tried it out but it just didn’t fit, and so I leave the sketching and drawing to my cousins. A couple years before I had been told that playing guitar was a good way to meet girls, and so for that Christmas I got a guitar. But I didn’t want to put in the time it would take to learn guitar from the instructional vhs tape it came with. Then the next October I went to this concert, I mean it was just there two local bands, but one of the bands was Jack’s current band. But this is not the first time I meet Jack. They were a great band, so I would go and see them play whenever I could, and I would try and promote them to the best of my ability, not for Jack’s sake but because the music was great. Also what helped our friendship was that every two or three weeks him and his then girlfriend would go to the movie theater where I was working. At that time the two tickets that got them in was $18.00 and when paying with a $20 bill it would leave him with a toonie/townie? (I’m Canadian and I’m not even sure) And after a while he started to give me the change, not because I’d ask for it, but because I think he started to recognize me from his shows, or just because he felt like it, I’m not sure. Then one day I found him on Facebook, added him as a friend, which resulted in a growth in our friendship. But then he moved away and I missed the music. About a year after that, my little brother found my old guitar and expressed an interest I learning how to play it. So my mom arranged to get him lessons, and after like two or three weeks which equaled out to around 2 or 3 lessons, I felt a little excluded, I felt the desire to fill the artistic gap again, and to remember my guitar playing friend, it was a perfect idea and so I as well started guitar lessons. But I only ended up taking them for about a year (probably closer to around seven months at once a week,) and because my desire to play guitar was renewed. For Christmas that year I got a new nice adult sized guitar. I still enjoy guitar, and was re-inspired by Jack to give it a real shot, by that I mean photography of course, my primary artistic outlet.

Another thing about Jack is that he has self e-published two novels. As I think I’ve mentioned before I am a story teller at my core, and so writing a novel is a dream of mine. Now I’ve just started actually reading it because before this Christmas I didn’t have an e-reader. But I have read a previous semi-unedited version of the first novel and that was great. So I am really excited about reading this published version, as well as reading the second novel in his series. And in that way I aspire to be like Jack.

Besides his musical talent and his writing ability, Jack also does good. Jack also helps run a decently sized youth program in Edmonton. Now I’ve been involved in helping with a youth program in the past, but that was mainly helping with rides and providing minor supervision. So I didn’t have any type of major role in it much.

Music

https://soundcloud.com/danwmcintyre

https://soundcloud.com/hashtagboom

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/artist/dan-mcintyre/id4283851

Books

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/book/vincent/id430825053?mt=11

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/book/vincent-founder-triumphs/id791293988?mt=11

To be clear, he does all this while maintaining a steady job designing kitchens and seeming to keep up a social life. And in conclusion jack is awesome and I wish I was a bit more like him.

Post Script: Despite this post being the first where I include a tangible link to whom the person the post is about. I still hold firm that I don’t openly tell people that I chose to write about them. I should also mention that there is really only one more of these that I plan on writing, and that I haven’t even started it.

Body Modifications Part 3.

The Big Time: Surgery.

Now this could be the most controversial of the three. Surgery does carry a certain stigma around it, and if you read what I wrote about piercings you’re probably thinking that I will be all against it. But surgery has both its goods and its bads.

Let me start with the differences between cosmetic surgery and plastic surgery, because this may surprise you but they are not the same things.

Cosmetic surgery and plastic surgery are not the same thing:

Cosmetic surgery procedures enhance a person's appearance toward some aesthetic ideal.

Cosmetic surgery is practiced by doctors from a variety of medical fields including dermatologists, facial plastic surgeons, general surgeons, gynecologists, oral and maxillofacial surgeons, ophthalmologists, otolaryngologists, plastic surgeons, as well as doctors from other fields.

Unlike cosmetic surgery, plastic surgery focuses on repairing and reconstructing abnormal structures of the body caused by birth defects, developmental abnormalities, trauma, infection, tumors or disease.

And so with those lines drawn you might be thinking that I’m just gonna say cosmetic bad, plastic good. But it’s not as simple as that, and by those definitions plastic is good, but that does not necessarily mean that cosmetic is bad though. But it isn’t, not always anyways. I do believe that surgery should be the last choice not the first one. I am a big proponent of loving the body you’re in or learning to love the body you’re in. But I also so acknowledge that it is not always possible for this to happen. And in that case I do believe that if there is nothing else that can be done, cosmetic surgery is a completely acceptable option. As I said before it shouldn’t be a first choice, but a last resort. Now I should be clear that if you think that changing your body because you think it will make someone else like you more. No, simply no. Don’t get surgery to impress someone else, because if they have a problem with your body it is not you it’s them.

See now I am not even sure if it is something that surgeons let you rush into. Because piercings can be taken out, tattoos can be removed, but surgery is not always as easily reversible and there’s no guarantee that it will turn out the way you want it to.

Think hard and embrace your quote unquote imperfections before you decide to surgically change them. Because I’d like to believe that changing your mind is more beneficial than changing your body.

Post Script: I’m sure is more research that I could do on this, but I do think this does cover the point I am trying to get across. Also I am hoping that I can keep up on regular posts. I think I am doing good so far. Wednesdays are good right?

Body Modifications Pt. 2

Mid-level: Tattoos

Last week I shared my opinions (issues) on various different piercings, and a lot of that was on the negative side of things, mostly how I didn’t like them. But that’s different when it comes to tattoos, or at least I’m a lot less against them, to the point where I’ve actually thought about getting one myself. Then I find myself asking four questions; one for myself and three I will discuss. Mine: what will it cost (Because I am conscious that they are expensive)? Discussion: What? Where? And, Why?

The What. When you think about it, I mean what is so important to you that you would have your skin permanently drawn on. I will probably repeat this multiple times, because it has been my opinion for a while, “getting tattoos for the sake of getting tattoos is a bad idea.” I understand that sometimes you might think getting a tattoo on a whim might seem like it would be a cool thing to do and it could provide an interesting story, but No, just no. A tattoo should be something you think about, you shouldn’t just show up and pick something off a wall or out of a book, and it should be unique and personal. Definitely not some stock design out of a book or some random ridiculous tribal design.  IT SHOULD MEAN SOMETHING.  I should also mention that I believe getting your own name, initials etc. (even someone else’s most time) tattooed on your body is tacky and a bad idea.  “Getting tattoos for the sake of getting tattoos is a bad idea.” Now in saying all that if done properly, tattooing is an art form. Sometimes the human body can be used to capture a certain emotion, such as in a painting or a photograph, whereas with tattoos they can be used to express something. Even more commonly through their body is the canvas on which the art is displayed. And this is a way for the whole world to see on persons’ art. A mobile canvas that is essentially designed to interact with people.

Now, where you choose to get your tattoo is also a big factor in your decision. I will straight up come right out and say it. Face tattoos are stupid, and I probably would judge you for getting them. Also the wide landscape lower back tattoos, commonly called “tramp stamps” are very funny (that might be the best way for me to put it, I certainly do chuckle). But I do think placement is very important, you wouldn’t start your tattoo sleeve on your wrist and have its’ story move upwards, you start at the shoulder and it move from top to bottom. Just like you wouldn’t get a pair of angel wings or a huge mural on your chest rather than your back, it is very much a matter of both common sense and sensible matching of tattoo to location. But once again I will bring it back to this quote “Getting tattoos for the sake of getting tattoos is a bad idea.”

Why to get a tattoo, possibly the most important of the three questions. It could even override the “what to get” as long as it has a root theme. But I still don’t think it could outweigh the quote I’ve been repeating “Getting tattoos for the sake of getting tattoos is a bad idea.” I do believe that tattoos can be quite effective in commemorating events, or even memorializing people, or even to show how much you like something. To be clear on the last one it shouldn’t be done in an attempt to prove that you like something. It should be done to express an overwhelming love for something. Tattoos should be of something that you find that you can’t live without, figuratively of course. And as I’ve already said they should be unique and personal. In saying that, I should probably discuss matching tattoos. By discuss me of course mean that it’s a bad idea because it is an inevitability that relationships always end; in either break up, divorce, or death (John Green).

So I guess in summation if you’re going to get a tattoo, don’t get one on a whim, get one that means something and don’t get one for the sake of getting one.

Post Script: I know there’s more I could say about tattoos, and I still might, later on. But for now that’s what I’ve got to say. That wasn’t much of a post script was it? More so a continuation. So I will probably not for the last time pose a question: What do you think of tattoos?

Body Modifications part one:

The small stuff: Piercings.

Now I do strongly believe that every person has the inherit right to do whatever they so choose to their own bodies. With saying that I should also say that I think that excessive piercings are stupid and just generally not a good idea. Now using the word stupid might be a little controversial, and I should clear it up, I am not saying that a person who gets multiple piercings is stupid, but if we could learn anything from Wolverine it’s that filling your body with metal is not the wisest thing in the world.

I should explain a bit more. I am not against piercings; I am against the excess and/or pointlessness of many. I can understand ear piercings, shiny things attract the attention of possible mates up to eye level (while not being overly distracting), and eye contact encourages more listening. (This is very similar to eye make-up being used to draw attention to them.) In saying that I’m not talking about stretched lobes, because I won’t even try and understand why someone would do that. (I mean not having or ever wanting piercings I don’t understand the appeal anyway, but more so with stretching.) I’m gonna start with non-ear facial piercings, but not all of them. My main annoyance is focused on two specific piercings: the septum and Monroe piercings. (I should clarify that this does not mean I have no opinion of other non-ear facial piercings. I think nose piercings are better as studs rather than hoops, multiple eyebrow piercings should be consolidated on to a single brow rather than spread out, as well I can only assume that any piercings in or around the mouth and lips could make talking, eating, kissing, etc. a bit more awkward or difficult.)

Now, my issue with the septum piercing is simple, it minds me of those cartoon bulls which is ridiculous because I believe they originally put those rings through the inside of their noses was so that their owners could guide them to where they want them to go, like a dog on a leash. I know you can’t do that with a person’s piercing, but I still envision myself as a matador from time to time when I see that piercing on people. (Also because I could never envision myself doing this with an actual bull.)

And the Monroe. (In my opinion the worst of the two facial piercings.) The Monroe in its placement, is poor, based only on the criteria that other facial piercings are on an edge, I can only assume that you can’t comfortably put a hoop into the middle of your cheek. I know its purpose was supposed to imitate the beauty mark that Marilyn Monroe possessed, and yes, I understand why that appeals to people. Having a natural “imperfection” on a “perfect” face, because there is just as much beauty in our “flaws” as there is on our fine points. But I think one point of that is it is a natural “imperfection”. (Quotation marks were used to show that even though I used those words I don’t necessarily agree with them.)

Now I will admit, I actually can’t think of anything bad to say about belly button piercings. I mean they’re not my kind of thing, but like the common non-stretching lobe piercings they don’t bother me all that much.

And finally the stupidest (and this time I do mean stupid) of all piercings. The piercings into the tightly packed nerve clusters, aka genital and nipple piercings. I know what people will argue to support these piercings. “They intensify pleasure,” or simply said “They make sex better.” Now I won’t say that they’re wrong on that fact, because I just don’t know. But I do know how uncomfortable it can be to get my underwear caught up or bunched up down there, and that clothing is meant to be there. I could only imagine adding a metal rod into the equation. On top of that if mouth/lip piercings make things more awkward or difficult, I’d guess that genital piercings would only be worse.

Post Script: This originally was on both piercings and tattoos, but I decided to break them up into two separate parts. That I want to post one right after another, which probably means I should write the one on tattoos. I should also be clear that I don’t judge you on whatever choices you make with your body.

Terms of Endearment are Stupid

Now coming from me where I've written several posts on the nicknames I've given to friends, terms of endearment might seem like something that I’d be all for but I’m not, the opposite actually. I mean what can be said about terms of endearment? They’re not cute or cunning; they’re annoying and stupid, ridiculous and unoriginal. Over the years they've changed and evolved, but one thing they've kept is that they’re supposed to be used in a loving way…

But that all changed when the Fire Nation attacked, except not really, though it has been changing progressively. Because now you can hear in commonplace “bitch” or just “woman” being used, and not with a negative tone. They are now used in the same manner that sweetie or dear were once used. When did this change? When did calling someone a “bitch” become something good? But the change of usage was not reclamation or a re-purposing of those words, because had that been the case it would have been an absolute one. Whereas “bitch“is still an angry word as well as an insulting one word as well. This change had to have come from somewhere, and my theory is that this change is rooted in mainstream rap and hip-hop music. To quote Bo Burnham “I feel like hip hop used to be a voice for the voiceless, you know, and now it’s become at least in  the mainstream  a symbol of misogyny” and this just proves I am not the only one who thinks this way. But even if this started in hip hop now the lyrics in other musical genres have taken to being corrupted with misogynistic slurs. This has only lead to the further support of negative language in commonplace society.

Now you might be thinking that having just that reason as to why I believe terms of endearment are stupid, and guess what, that’s not the only reason.

But just think about those “cutesy” pet names, you've got baby, babe, honey, muffin, dear, Snookums, etc. So you know, comparisons to infants, or foods, actually dear isn't that bad, I think it’s the only acceptable one. But even then it is still non-personal, quite generic, and it makes me think I should swerve out of the way (dear and deer, get it). Then there is Snookums or similar pet names, they always remind me of those names that Aunt Petunia call Dudley, and I mean who wants to be Dudley anyway? And comparing your romantic partner (RP) to an infant is wrong, and it’s not just the pedophilic undertones. Also it gives a sense of helplessness or weakness in your RP. And you are supposed to strengthen them not bring them down. The food comparison is less harsh though you could attribute calling your RP food names a desire to either consume all that you can from them. Or they could also get from it that you feel like you need you RP to survive and neediness is never a good thing to project in a relationship. So those “cutesy” pet names, if you didn’t realize it by now are demeaning, and are not particularly healthy for relationships or even potential ones.

Post Script: Though I said dear was acceptable, being greeted with “Hello Sweetie” also is acceptable but only if they know they are quoting Doctor Who. Also as you can probably tell I am really bad at posting things, this was supposed to be for around Valentines Day.

On graffiti, Street art and bathroom walls.

Now, there is no way that I could be considered by any means imaginable an expert or even overly knowledgeable on the topic of street art. But that being said it is something I have an opinion on, and something I have thought about. Art if done well is something that should be for everyone to see. Also art should invoke some variety of emotional response in those who see it. And though street art accomplishes the first part quite successfully, a common response to the second part is anger, and it is considered “defacing public property” or vandalism. This also sometimes results in the removal of the art, now by removal I also mean destruction. And I could easily relate destroying art to burning books, but therein also lies the problem: “What is street art, what is graffiti and what makes them different from vandalism?”

Now we could get into a discussion on the question of “what is art?” but how I see it “Art is a form of personal expression that is manifested in a displayable manner.” So that would make street art “a form of personal expression manifested in a publicly displayed manner” and yes in some ways this could also include tagging, when done artistically anyway. Now graffiti is nearly as difficult to describe properly, and this is because graffiti resembles vandalism more so that street art. This is because graffiti is almost literally “Writings on the wall,” and distinguishing between what is actual graffiti and what is vandalistic scribbling is the difficult part. Well actually not that difficult. You can distinguish it by asking one question: “Can it be part of an intelligible conversation?” And this works both ways, if it is intelligible it is graffiti, and if not, then it falls in with destroying public property under the category of vandalism.

You might be asking yourselves what exactly does this have to do with bathroom walls. Well that’s simple; we need a place for this graffiti to happen. Where better to start this new wave of intellectual graffiti than where the worst of graffiti lives. Excuse me while I set the scene, there you are sitting on the toilet and your stomach it telling you that you’re going to be there for a while. You have no book, no newspaper, or anything else to distract you while waiting there, so you look up at the walls and what do you see: advice on sexual partners, unprovoked profanity, and speculation on peoples’ sexual preferences, or any other number of crude things. (So needless to say, things that only remind you of your current situation.) But what if when you looked up, and what you saw written on the wall was the beginnings of a philosophical discussion, an interesting quote by some famous so and so, or even a well written dirty limerick or a bad pun. Something that gets your mind working, and that makes a good distraction, so you don’t think on the waste that is being purged from your body, and being distracted in that situation makes the whole thing just an however slightly so more bearable experience.

Post Script: I’ve written two versions of this. Not going to say what my plans are for the second. But I do like how I ended it more simply because I ended it with a quote from somewhere in the universe of Joss Whedon. Now I have this post scheduled and hopefully the other version will be out around the same time.

Nostalgically Romantic

So I thought of this concept earlier last week when something happened. I saw someone on last Wednesday that I haven't see in many years, and she got me thinking. Of course it was a woman who got me thinking, but this one is a little special, and not because anything special happened between us, but because she was my first... non-celebrity crush.

Now I could go on about her, and I will a little because it will help me make my future point. She was one of the popular girls, I was the bullied kid, but she was really nice to me. I thought she was cute, and still is. Her and her family just like mine weren't the richest or most privileged, she was also for a while there the girl next door well across the street, well it wasn't really a street she lived across from me in this low income housing complex. (Yes, I do know how cliché I that was; I don't apologize for being young).

Okay, back to my original concept of being nostalgically romantic, or nostalgically attracted to someone. But actually it is quite simple. Nostalgia: pleasure and sadness that is caused by remembering something from the past and wishing that you could experience it again. And so seeing someone you were once romantically interested after a period of time, it will occasionally stir something inside you that can make you think once again that you should possibly date them. I mean this is the same concept behind people getting back with their previously dumped romantic partners, or at least one of the things behind it. I mean getting back together with a previously dumped romantic partner usually doesn't end well unless there has been a complete shift in one or both of the people involved. You did break up for a reason so unless that reason changed DON'T, especially if that reason was cheating. But if these feelings are not acted upon or assumed unrequited, then as long as the two people are single I don't see why it isn't possible for them to act on say a high school crush, years after high school has ended (or in my case an elementary/primary school crush many years after elementary school has ended). I mean you also have to consider that if you are not currently in a romantic partnership, haven't had a potential romantic partnership in a while, or even are unhappy in your current romantic partnership, what you're feeling isn't actually real and what you're just feeling what you once had because you miss it. I'm not sure if I've said this here before but being in a romantic partnership for the sake of being in a romantic partnership is not a good idea, there should always be an end game in sight. Unless of course it is just a physical thing then it is not a romantic partnership, it is a physical relationship. 

It is possible that this is in some way related to "The one that got away," though I've always seen that as being someone you've previously been involved with in some way and it was the opposing partner had ended it where you didn't want it to end. And I know I am repeating myself, but unless there has been some sort of change in either yourself or you previously dumped romantic partner, don't just DON'T get back together with them. Also there are the people who think "The one that got away" is that one person you wanted to but didn't "score" with, which is ridiculous. Like there's a list of people you "need" to sleep with to feel whole or something, it is okay to only have ever slept with one person, or no people, or one hundred people. 

Post Script: It's pretty bad, I haven't spoken to her in over 10 years. It's pretty bad, I really need to get myself a crush.