Terms of Endearment are Stupid

Now coming from me where I've written several posts on the nicknames I've given to friends, terms of endearment might seem like something that I’d be all for but I’m not, the opposite actually. I mean what can be said about terms of endearment? They’re not cute or cunning; they’re annoying and stupid, ridiculous and unoriginal. Over the years they've changed and evolved, but one thing they've kept is that they’re supposed to be used in a loving way…

But that all changed when the Fire Nation attacked, except not really, though it has been changing progressively. Because now you can hear in commonplace “bitch” or just “woman” being used, and not with a negative tone. They are now used in the same manner that sweetie or dear were once used. When did this change? When did calling someone a “bitch” become something good? But the change of usage was not reclamation or a re-purposing of those words, because had that been the case it would have been an absolute one. Whereas “bitch“is still an angry word as well as an insulting one word as well. This change had to have come from somewhere, and my theory is that this change is rooted in mainstream rap and hip-hop music. To quote Bo Burnham “I feel like hip hop used to be a voice for the voiceless, you know, and now it’s become at least in  the mainstream  a symbol of misogyny” and this just proves I am not the only one who thinks this way. But even if this started in hip hop now the lyrics in other musical genres have taken to being corrupted with misogynistic slurs. This has only lead to the further support of negative language in commonplace society.

Now you might be thinking that having just that reason as to why I believe terms of endearment are stupid, and guess what, that’s not the only reason.

But just think about those “cutesy” pet names, you've got baby, babe, honey, muffin, dear, Snookums, etc. So you know, comparisons to infants, or foods, actually dear isn't that bad, I think it’s the only acceptable one. But even then it is still non-personal, quite generic, and it makes me think I should swerve out of the way (dear and deer, get it). Then there is Snookums or similar pet names, they always remind me of those names that Aunt Petunia call Dudley, and I mean who wants to be Dudley anyway? And comparing your romantic partner (RP) to an infant is wrong, and it’s not just the pedophilic undertones. Also it gives a sense of helplessness or weakness in your RP. And you are supposed to strengthen them not bring them down. The food comparison is less harsh though you could attribute calling your RP food names a desire to either consume all that you can from them. Or they could also get from it that you feel like you need you RP to survive and neediness is never a good thing to project in a relationship. So those “cutesy” pet names, if you didn’t realize it by now are demeaning, and are not particularly healthy for relationships or even potential ones.

Post Script: Though I said dear was acceptable, being greeted with “Hello Sweetie” also is acceptable but only if they know they are quoting Doctor Who. Also as you can probably tell I am really bad at posting things, this was supposed to be for around Valentines Day.