Showing posts with label Insecurities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Insecurities. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Boxes

I'd like to preface this by saying that I usually first write this out before I type it here to edit myself. But I feel like this is something that shouldn't be edited and should just come straight out. (Also Josh this isn't the blog post I mentioned in my e-mail.)

I don't like boxes. I'm not talking about those physical boxes, but the immaterial boxes that we put people in, that we even put ourselves in. I don't fit in most literal boxes and if I do I overflow. Because trying to fit someone into being one single thing just doesn't work. And even if you can fit someone into a single box, who says this box is the same from one person to another. And for this same reason I don't think that you could properly even Venn diagram a person. Now this is because not only are people more than one thing, but people are just more, more than the sum of their parts. Now in saying all this I am reminded of the movie The Breakfast Club but in particular this quote "You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain ...and an athlete... and a basket case... a princess... and a criminal... Does that answer your question?" Now this just shows that this is not a new or an original idea and yet people are still doing it. 

Now, I'd like to explain what is bringing me to talk about this. And because I can only guess that my Twitter may get passed around due to me now having it in a way linked to a university club I am part of. 

So here's the situation. Me plus three other people sitting in a Tim Hortons around 10:30-ish and being election time in the United States, the topic of politics came up. So being Canadian, we were discussing which of the presidential candidates we'd vote for. Now in saying this we only limited this to Dems and Repubs, we left out Green and Libs, so it was Romney vs Obama. But unsurprisingly we all agreed that Obama should win, but that's not the part that sparked this but it was one of the post discussion comment made by one of the other people there. "Only I just think he's a little too pro-choice" paraphrased of course because what the exact words were. What I took away from it was that even though we share a religion, our beliefs are different, we are in the same box, but different boxes at the same time. At that time I mentally was curious to know what they would think if they found out that I am pro-choice, or that I am pro allowing gay marriage to happen.  I said "mentally curious" because I did not actually mention any of this. I have a problem discussing in person what my beliefs are with people that I'm not like super close with. This is because I can actually handle the internet trolls and criticism more than irl trolls and criticism. My mom and my close friends know more of the specifics of my beliefs, and that's just fine with me.

Post Script: A question: If you are American who do you plan on voting for, if you aren't who would you vote for? Leave your answers in comments below.

Post-Post Script: It appears that I have made just over $1.00 in AdSense money in September, so thank you. I will be posting more so I can get that up to $100 so Google will actually send me that money.

Friday, November 23, 2012

I'm scared: My response to Charlie McDonnell

This is going to be about a YouTube video, and the series of video responses that followed. Or at least my elaboration on the topic.

And this is that video. This is a playlist I made including the above video and several of the responses I watched.

Okay, so yes, I am scared too. I don't make videos, but I do write these blogs. And I do sometimes include things of a personal nature. Thinks people can easily judge me on, and could make them look at me differently. Now, I am not worried about people on the internet reading this, because I am more comfortable with internet people. But what really scares me is people I know in the outernet seeing this blog, and my opinions and stuff change how they see me. And thus change the amount of time they choose to spend with me.

And this is also why I only have been sharing the link on Tumblr and not Twitter anymore, also why I haven't shared this on Facebook. I do like the idea of more people reading this thing I am creating, but I have an desire to be liked and I am worried that some of these things might make people change their opinions on me it is kinda frustrating. But when I post things I get around a half dozen pageviews, and I have been getting one daily pageview. You know what, I am perfectly Happy with that. Actually exceedingly happy at that.

Post Script: As I am typing this in I am also writing another Christmas entry, so expect that soon.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Let's talk about Twitter.

Despite this title I am not talking about twitter, well, not only twitter but communication in general, but mainly online communication.

Well actually I am talking about Twitter, but to a lesser extent YouTube comments and Tumblr replies. 

Nope. Thinking about it, like honestly putting thought into it. My issue is communicating with the opposite sex both on and offline(Mainly Online). I don't do it well or often,  and when I do i am over thinking, censoring, and often thinking more about what not to say rather than what to say. Now I know that this is probably common. My main issue is that I am not sure where the line is. You know that line, where on one side is creepy and the other side is everything else. This has resulted in me saying or typing things that do not properly convey my point with the after effect being misconceptions, misunderstandings and embarrassing moments.This is even more so on the internet with its less than admirable ability to convey tone. And because the line is never, and I mean NEVER the same. Not to mention what this has done to my non-existent love life. (But my love life has greater issues than this).  This point is even more exaggerated if I find the female in question attractive. I actually do find it a bit sad that I have problems talking to women, not surprising but sad. It makes sense though, no one has taught me, you don't learn it in school and with  this already in place figuring it out on my own is not easy. Now there is the option of you know asking the parents, which would not be pleasant. Imagine if you will me a 22 year old going to her mom telling her that he has issues talking to females. Not that I think she'd be overly surprised she once told me that she has never expected me to date much and that if I do it will be with the intentions of marriage one day. But anyways that conversation would end up being embarrassing, awkward and she'd probably pass me off to someone else or laugh at me or both. And if I went to my father the opening to the conversation would go like this "I know we have never actually spoken, or had a real conversation but I have a problem talking to women, I blame you, now you have to help me." So I am not breaking 22 years of silence just so I can get advice about girls from a guy who habitually just isn't there. 

Now I am feeling down because I am also thinking that girls probably don't want to talk to me due to me not being all that physically appealing or inviting. 

Post script: The paragraph breaks are me not editing myself in this post.

Post post script: This blog post was originally supposed to be me showing you Telegraph Cove through my eyes. Next Time.