Funk, no not the music.

“There are two kinds of people in the world, birthday people and not birthday people. Not birthday people don’t make a big deal out of their birthdays, after all it’s not about an accomplishment. Birthday people are the exact opposite.” – Emily Owens M.D.

I have been both a birthday person and not one. But recently this day has not been my favourite day, which I have come to believe it a little odd-ish for someone of my age, and it actually has been like that for the past couple birthdays. I’m thinking that the early onset of this day is regret and looking back at how little I feel like I’ve accomplished.

I know 25 isn’t that old in the grand scheme of things but as the day draws closer I can’t help but think about it. And in all honesty it’s not even about my birthday, not exactly anyways.It’s just that I’m seeing all these people my age starting their own families then there’s me, I don’t know how to meet women let alone have any hint at if they would even be interested in me romantically. It’s not even that I think I’m ready to start my own family it’s that I’m not even close, I have not romantic prospects, absolutely none. And I think it’s just as hard that I don’t even have a simple crush, besides nostalgically or on a celebrity in years.

Above in italics is a perfect example of why I don’t post nearly as often as I would like to. Sometimes my writing gets away from me, now usually this isn’t a problem because I end up on interesting tangents but sometimes I find myself in a bit of a funk and my writing ends up being whiney, complain-y, and all woe is me. Truly, that is not at all what I am wanting to post on here so it frustrates me to no end when that’s all that my writing ends up producing.

Now normally I don’t let it get that far and just choose to close my notebook and give it time. I’ve also let myself write dark to get it out, but more often it’s just small bursts like this. But I think that’s how it is with everyone you want all the good and none of the bad. But I mean sometimes you need the bad to just show you how good it is when it is good.

So when you find yourself in a funk whether it writing or whatever I’ve found that there are usually two ways of dealing with it. First being to push through it; break through the wall that is funk with perseverance. Second is to give it time, in the same way that “Time heals all wounds” time tends to break funk down. But they both have their own advantages and disadvantages, it’s different for each person, and it’s even different for each situation. For me, as may seem obvious I tend to lean towards the give it time option, hence the breaks between posts. But then I don’t really try to push through, but that’s because when things get frustrating I just tend to switch to a different project.

With that I do thank those of you who regularly check this blog for updates, and those of you who read when I do post

Post Script: Happy New Years, plus one month. This winter has been weird, as I am finishing this it is the 1^st of Feb and as of so far there hasn’t been snow. And I live in Canada. It’s weird.

Dating Terms. A blog response.

Recently I read a blog post from another blogger that one of my Facebook friends had shared, and it was about dating terms and how they’d changed since the writer had gotten married, he called it a “hazy, undefined dating-but-not-dating scene”. I’m not sure how long he’d been married but he made it seem like it had been at least a little while. He assumed these terms are used due to fear of commitment, and with continuing and increasing reliance social media and technology, of course dating terms have changed. So I am going to venture a try at clarifying some of the terms he mentioned.

The two new terms he used were “hungout/ hanging out” and “talking/texting”, but he also went into the older term of “courting”. So I will explain what he couldn’t

Let’s start with “talking/texting”, now I know these things are not unique to this situation and therein lies the source of confusion. You talk and text with people that you’re not romantically linked to, or wish to be. You also can do this before you find yourself romantically linked to them.

 So how do you differentiate texting with a friend and texting with romantic interest?

Well it’s simple, two words, “Romantic Intent”, now what this means is that your intentions are to potentially lead that conversation either verbal or electronic in a romantic direction. Now this isn’t to be confused with flirting, because even though flirting is a part of this not all of flirting has the Romantic Intent that this form of “talking/texting” does. Some people are naturally flirty, some people oblivious to their own flirting, and Romantic Intent is a conscious thing, that’s because romance it’s self is a conscious thing elsewise it is a subconscious, animal, basic instinct.

Now on to “hung/hanging out” and once again these are words that do not necessarily have a romantic connotation to quote the original blogger whom I am responding to “Hanging out is how we describe what we do with our buddies”, and even in my further explanation it is not necessarily “romantic” but it is also not in the common definition of the words. This is because “hung/hanging out” could potentially mean one of two things; One being pre-dating(romantic) and two being a physical thing (could be romantic, but not always). I will talk about them in that order. Pre-dating is as it seems to, literally before dating, and “talking/texting” is a big part of this. Conversational chemistry is only one part of what is necessary for the romantic relationship known as dating. Now this might need a little more clarification; once again there is “Romantic Intent” but there is a greater proximity aspect to this but not a physicality to it. I know that this still sounds like dating except with no physical aspect but this comprises of non-dating activities. So I’m talking about things like quick coffees, grocery shopping, exercising, short walks, even a movie under the right circumstances but there’s no holding hands, kissing, or cuddling(things that buddies do), but maybe a hug once and again depending on circumstance. Now these are not requirements, because at this point what is between the two people involved are still in an essentially undefined state. Then there’s the other definition where “hanging out” is a euphemism for having sex, and this one doesn’t necessarily have to have any trace of romantic intent, this could include friends with benefits, “fun” buddies, random hookups, pretty much any opportunity where sex is being had could be described as hanging out. I am pretty sure that was the assumption that was made in his blog post. And he made it seem like that was the only option where it could very well be an option but not the only one. This related to him complaining about hooking up, he didn’t bash it directly but he did call it “teenage” and used the phrase “vague, timid, code words of high school freshmen”, also describing it as “embarrassing. Almost as if you weren’t in any sort of a committed relationship you’re doing it wrong. And with that I believe that there’s an implied aspect of quote unquote slut shaming there.

There were other things in this post that I had issues with beyond his lack of knowledge on evolving language that I had issues with. For one he appeared to put the onus of blame on only men for this. Especially since it is not always men who are unclear with their intentions or desire for casuality in relationship. And in relationship to that he compared a casuality or lack of definition in relationships to an inherit immaturity in men, and it being a result of fear.

Post Script: I am realizing how much I think about love and relationships, or at least how much it appears that I do. When in reality most of these posts are just me figuring or at least trying to figure things out. This post should have been up sooner, considering when I had read the original post, it was all in my head and I had just needed the time to get it all out.

Boxes

I'd like to preface this by saying that I usually first write this out before I type it here to edit myself. But I feel like this is something that shouldn't be edited and should just come straight out. (Also Josh this isn't the blog post I mentioned in my e-mail.)

I don't like boxes. I'm not talking about those physical boxes, but the immaterial boxes that we put people in, that we even put ourselves in. I don't fit in most literal boxes and if I do I overflow. Because trying to fit someone into being one single thing just doesn't work. And even if you can fit someone into a single box, who says this box is the same from one person to another. And for this same reason I don't think that you could properly even Venn diagram a person. Now this is because not only are people more than one thing, but people are just more, more than the sum of their parts. Now in saying all this I am reminded of the movie The Breakfast Club but in particular this quote "You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain ...and an athlete... and a basket case... a princess... and a criminal... Does that answer your question?" Now this just shows that this is not a new or an original idea and yet people are still doing it. 

Now, I'd like to explain what is bringing me to talk about this. And because I can only guess that my Twitter may get passed around due to me now having it in a way linked to a university club I am part of. 

So here's the situation. Me plus three other people sitting in a Tim Hortons around 10:30-ish and being election time in the United States, the topic of politics came up. So being Canadian, we were discussing which of the presidential candidates we'd vote for. Now in saying this we only limited this to Dems and Repubs, we left out Green and Libs, so it was Romney vs Obama. But unsurprisingly we all agreed that Obama should win, but that's not the part that sparked this but it was one of the post discussion comment made by one of the other people there. "Only I just think he's a little too pro-choice" paraphrased of course because what the exact words were. What I took away from it was that even though we share a religion, our beliefs are different, we are in the same box, but different boxes at the same time. At that time I mentally was curious to know what they would think if they found out that I am pro-choice, or that I am pro allowing gay marriage to happen.  I said "mentally curious" because I did not actually mention any of this. I have a problem discussing in person what my beliefs are with people that I'm not like super close with. This is because I can actually handle the internet trolls and criticism more than irl trolls and criticism. My mom and my close friends know more of the specifics of my beliefs, and that's just fine with me.

Post Script: A question: If you are American who do you plan on voting for, if you aren't who would you vote for? Leave your answers in comments below.

Post-Post Script: It appears that I have made just over $1.00 in AdSense money in September, so thank you. I will be posting more so I can get that up to $100 so Google will actually send me that money.

Sensitive Subject Matter.

Not gonna talk about Christmas this time or next time because I just gotta get this off my chest. Might be a little strange but I am gonna do what I do on Twitter sometimes and talk about using the bathroom. Not so much talk about more rant about. And not all bathrooms but multi-stalled public bathrooms.

Now when people complain about public restrooms it's about their cleanliness. But with me, I'm one of those people who always has that alcohol based hand sanitizer with them, and so I grab toilet paper and wipe down the seat with sanitizer. It's not the cramped space, the cheap toilet paper, or even the possibility of getting creeped on through the gaps in the doors and walls. No, it's none of those.

My problem is the noises. But I'm not talking about the involuntary release of gas, or the plop of poop, or the splashing of pee. It is the voluntary noises, the ones that can be avoided, and the unnecessary noises. And even then I am breaking that up into two categories. "In stall" and "out of stall".

Let's start with the "in stall" noises since they are more common and sometimes harder to get rid of. These are the sighs of relief, the deep groans, and the sounds of forced pushing. I think we can all agree that these are all not overly pleasant sounds, not to mention that they are very personal sounds, and the bathroom in its entirety is a personal experience. So why would you do that in a known public washroom. Now I am not trying to tell you not to use public washrooms entirely, what I am saying is that use them as necessary but not leisurely. (I see them as like a quick stop until you can get to your own washroom.) So in conclusion of this, don't make noises while using public toilets.

Okay, now on to the out of stall noises. These are noises that are completely, absolutely controllable and AVOIDABLE. So I am talking about is the talking that happens in bathrooms! Like ARG! I can't really express how this makes me feel. Oh wait, yes I can. I AM A GIANT SQUID OF ANGER. Up to now I could mostly articulate what I am thinking about in reference to this. But WHY, just why do guys insist on having conversations in once again public washrooms. Now I'm not necessarily talking about when people talk to me but as well when guys have conversations at the sinks. But still. There I am half naked and unable to fully clothe myself and there they are in the same room as me, and probably no less than five feet away having a conversation. There's a reason that toilets have their own rooms. And it's NOT so you can have conversations. If there's only one place that's inappropriate for conversations to occur it is a washroom! Think about it, the purpose of any washroom public or not is to clean oneself and to expel waste, NOT to converse with your friends or random person in the stall beside you. Like seriously guys have your conversations elsewhere, and a bathroom isn't the place to meet new people. I mean come on I am pooping here!

Post script: Does this make me a hypocrite because I Tweet and Text while on the toilet sometimes? 

Let's talk about Twitter.

Despite this title I am not talking about twitter, well, not only twitter but communication in general, but mainly online communication.

Well actually I am talking about Twitter, but to a lesser extent YouTube comments and Tumblr replies. 

Nope. Thinking about it, like honestly putting thought into it. My issue is communicating with the opposite sex both on and offline(Mainly Online). I don't do it well or often,  and when I do i am over thinking, censoring, and often thinking more about what not to say rather than what to say. Now I know that this is probably common. My main issue is that I am not sure where the line is. You know that line, where on one side is creepy and the other side is everything else. This has resulted in me saying or typing things that do not properly convey my point with the after effect being misconceptions, misunderstandings and embarrassing moments.This is even more so on the internet with its less than admirable ability to convey tone. And because the line is never, and I mean NEVER the same. Not to mention what this has done to my non-existent love life. (But my love life has greater issues than this).  This point is even more exaggerated if I find the female in question attractive. I actually do find it a bit sad that I have problems talking to women, not surprising but sad. It makes sense though, no one has taught me, you don't learn it in school and with  this already in place figuring it out on my own is not easy. Now there is the option of you know asking the parents, which would not be pleasant. Imagine if you will me a 22 year old going to her mom telling her that he has issues talking to females. Not that I think she'd be overly surprised she once told me that she has never expected me to date much and that if I do it will be with the intentions of marriage one day. But anyways that conversation would end up being embarrassing, awkward and she'd probably pass me off to someone else or laugh at me or both. And if I went to my father the opening to the conversation would go like this "I know we have never actually spoken, or had a real conversation but I have a problem talking to women, I blame you, now you have to help me." So I am not breaking 22 years of silence just so I can get advice about girls from a guy who habitually just isn't there. 

Now I am feeling down because I am also thinking that girls probably don't want to talk to me due to me not being all that physically appealing or inviting. 

Post script: The paragraph breaks are me not editing myself in this post.

Post post script: This blog post was originally supposed to be me showing you Telegraph Cove through my eyes. Next Time.