Nostalgically Romantic

So I thought of this concept earlier last week when something happened. I saw someone on last Wednesday that I haven't see in many years, and she got me thinking. Of course it was a woman who got me thinking, but this one is a little special, and not because anything special happened between us, but because she was my first... non-celebrity crush.

Now I could go on about her, and I will a little because it will help me make my future point. She was one of the popular girls, I was the bullied kid, but she was really nice to me. I thought she was cute, and still is. Her and her family just like mine weren't the richest or most privileged, she was also for a while there the girl next door well across the street, well it wasn't really a street she lived across from me in this low income housing complex. (Yes, I do know how cliché I that was; I don't apologize for being young).

Okay, back to my original concept of being nostalgically romantic, or nostalgically attracted to someone. But actually it is quite simple. Nostalgia: pleasure and sadness that is caused by remembering something from the past and wishing that you could experience it again. And so seeing someone you were once romantically interested after a period of time, it will occasionally stir something inside you that can make you think once again that you should possibly date them. I mean this is the same concept behind people getting back with their previously dumped romantic partners, or at least one of the things behind it. I mean getting back together with a previously dumped romantic partner usually doesn't end well unless there has been a complete shift in one or both of the people involved. You did break up for a reason so unless that reason changed DON'T, especially if that reason was cheating. But if these feelings are not acted upon or assumed unrequited, then as long as the two people are single I don't see why it isn't possible for them to act on say a high school crush, years after high school has ended (or in my case an elementary/primary school crush many years after elementary school has ended). I mean you also have to consider that if you are not currently in a romantic partnership, haven't had a potential romantic partnership in a while, or even are unhappy in your current romantic partnership, what you're feeling isn't actually real and what you're just feeling what you once had because you miss it. I'm not sure if I've said this here before but being in a romantic partnership for the sake of being in a romantic partnership is not a good idea, there should always be an end game in sight. Unless of course it is just a physical thing then it is not a romantic partnership, it is a physical relationship. 

It is possible that this is in some way related to "The one that got away," though I've always seen that as being someone you've previously been involved with in some way and it was the opposing partner had ended it where you didn't want it to end. And I know I am repeating myself, but unless there has been some sort of change in either yourself or you previously dumped romantic partner, don't just DON'T get back together with them. Also there are the people who think "The one that got away" is that one person you wanted to but didn't "score" with, which is ridiculous. Like there's a list of people you "need" to sleep with to feel whole or something, it is okay to only have ever slept with one person, or no people, or one hundred people. 

Post Script: It's pretty bad, I haven't spoken to her in over 10 years. It's pretty bad, I really need to get myself a crush.

Real versus Fake. The tree debate.

I've experienced both of these to some degree or another and feel uniquely qualified to share. So I've never actually had a live tree of my own, my family has been synthetic my whole life. But I've been to several houses, and a couple parties including one last night with a real tree.

I'm gonna start with synthetic trees because that's what I know best. Call them what you want, fake, plastic, or whatever and that might be true. Who says that has to be necessarily bad. I mean when you think about it one of these trees could last a dozen plus years or even up to a life time. So there's only one payment required, you don't have to spend money each year and you don't need to take time to pick out a tree each year. Then there's the fire risk, though when it comes to Christmas fires it is more likely that the fire will start from the electrical outlet than the tree itself, because even if the tree is considered flame retardant wood is more flammable than plastic. Then there is the issue of the mess. With any tree real or synthetic there will be some sort of mess, because the needles still fall off no matter what. Whereas the real trees you've got needles falling off all the time, not just the casual few either. Then at the end you've got a dead tree to deal with rather than a tree to just put back in its' box until next year.

Now on to real trees. And that's easily the best and simplest way to describe them. They fill your house with the real smell of evergreen tree in your house and that is something that can't be synthetically replicated by any means and it blends greatly with the other traditional scents of Christmas time. Also real trees not only look fuller but are so much fuller and shapely, giving them a very much more natural shape that synthetics haven't quite captured. From what I've heard picking out a tree as a family can be a very enjoyable Christmas tradition. Then when Christmas is over, rather than throwing out the tree if you've got a fireplace or fire pit, after all the needles have fallen off you've got the great beginnings of a fire.

They both have their pros and cons, I'm not here to make any sort of judgments on what kind of tree you should get or try and say one kind of tree is better than another. But there is one judgment I will make: if your tree isn't green, it's weird. The white trees, aluminum trees, or any other unnaturally coloured trees are just strange. I just feel like it's not right. It's just one of these things that I just don't understand. And I don't know why people do it.

Post Script: Where are you in this debate? I'd like to go for a  real tree one day, I think it would be nice to have my house smell as Christmas-ey as possible.