Sensitive Subject Matter.

Not gonna talk about Christmas this time or next time because I just gotta get this off my chest. Might be a little strange but I am gonna do what I do on Twitter sometimes and talk about using the bathroom. Not so much talk about more rant about. And not all bathrooms but multi-stalled public bathrooms.

Now when people complain about public restrooms it's about their cleanliness. But with me, I'm one of those people who always has that alcohol based hand sanitizer with them, and so I grab toilet paper and wipe down the seat with sanitizer. It's not the cramped space, the cheap toilet paper, or even the possibility of getting creeped on through the gaps in the doors and walls. No, it's none of those.

My problem is the noises. But I'm not talking about the involuntary release of gas, or the plop of poop, or the splashing of pee. It is the voluntary noises, the ones that can be avoided, and the unnecessary noises. And even then I am breaking that up into two categories. "In stall" and "out of stall".

Let's start with the "in stall" noises since they are more common and sometimes harder to get rid of. These are the sighs of relief, the deep groans, and the sounds of forced pushing. I think we can all agree that these are all not overly pleasant sounds, not to mention that they are very personal sounds, and the bathroom in its entirety is a personal experience. So why would you do that in a known public washroom. Now I am not trying to tell you not to use public washrooms entirely, what I am saying is that use them as necessary but not leisurely. (I see them as like a quick stop until you can get to your own washroom.) So in conclusion of this, don't make noises while using public toilets.

Okay, now on to the out of stall noises. These are noises that are completely, absolutely controllable and AVOIDABLE. So I am talking about is the talking that happens in bathrooms! Like ARG! I can't really express how this makes me feel. Oh wait, yes I can. I AM A GIANT SQUID OF ANGER. Up to now I could mostly articulate what I am thinking about in reference to this. But WHY, just why do guys insist on having conversations in once again public washrooms. Now I'm not necessarily talking about when people talk to me but as well when guys have conversations at the sinks. But still. There I am half naked and unable to fully clothe myself and there they are in the same room as me, and probably no less than five feet away having a conversation. There's a reason that toilets have their own rooms. And it's NOT so you can have conversations. If there's only one place that's inappropriate for conversations to occur it is a washroom! Think about it, the purpose of any washroom public or not is to clean oneself and to expel waste, NOT to converse with your friends or random person in the stall beside you. Like seriously guys have your conversations elsewhere, and a bathroom isn't the place to meet new people. I mean come on I am pooping here!

Post script: Does this make me a hypocrite because I Tweet and Text while on the toilet sometimes?