Sluts, Skanks, and Whores.

Sluts, skanks, and whores. Let’s talk about that. It is very obvious for those living in common place North America that these are not nice words, and yet we still use them. The thing that all three of them have in common is that they are used to villainies primarily females for having sex. And I think that is the purpose of these words, but I believe that the use of these words has become far too common.

So what I want to do is help clarify the appropriate times to use the words, to be clear none of this is meant as slut shaming that is not my intention and this is based wholly on my own opinion. If I offend you, I am sorry. As I mentioned earlier, these are not nice words but they are also angry words, and it does not matter what tone the person who is speaking these words uses they will not be anything but angry words, whose purpose is very clearly not kindness. Give it a try and see if someone will feel something besides anger when you use these words directed towards them.

Okay now let’s get started with common dictionary definitions.

• Slut: “a promiscuous woman.” Derogatory.
• Skank: “a person, esp. a woman regarded as unattractive, sleazy, or immoral.” Slang.
• Whore: “a promiscuous woman.” Derogatory.

Needless to say these all reflect poorly on females who enjoy and have sex. And so I’d like to redefine these words so that they do not villainies woman for liking sex. And here are my definitions.

• Slut: “a man or woman who participates in a multitude of sexual acts with a multitude of partners without any sort of regard for any of the other parties involved.” Derogatory.
• Skank: “a man or woman who participates in sexual infidelity knowing that it is infidelity.” Derogatory.
• Whore: “a man or a woman who uses sex as a form of manipulation to further ones goals, and or personal gain without any sort of regard for any of the other parties involved.” Derogatory.

So my definitions might all be about sex and they do slightly villainize it, but you also have to notice that I did not go for gender specifics, and all include villainizable circumstances surrounding sex and not sex itself. To mention it again these words are only to be used strictly in anger. But not only in anger, but I do believe that there should be justified cause and recognizable proof before using these words. But since swearing is not something you do with intense forethought only justified cause is okay.

What this really is showing is the misuse of words. Considering the power language holds in today’s society it is good to learn to use it properly.

Post Script: What are some words that you think redefining?

Five Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Three characters. (Blog Of Love.)

In the spring of my eighteenth year I had this fascination with trying to analyze and explain love. Though in all honesty it was more for the purpose of convincing myself that love is not all bad and is something that I want and deserve. Now the love I am talking about is people love, the love either between two people, or the love one person has for another not the kind of love someone has for say their favourite food. From there I catagorised love in three different ways: Social, Familial, and Romantic.

Social love is the kind of love you have in association to social relationships “friendships”. The love shared between close friends, the friends that you can tell anything to, rely and depend on, the friends that you are not afraid to be yourself around because that’s what they expect of you. Familiar love is that which pertains to family. It is almost semi-obligatory sort of love, because no matter how mad they make you, or even if you claim to hate them, you still even if it is only subconsciously you always love your family. Now I should clarify or add that this is within reason I am not saying that every family has love in it, also I should mention that family transcends blood because there’s more to being family than sharing blood. Finally, romantic love, now I don’t mean the overly media saturated physical “love”. This is one of the problems in today’s society, love is an overused word also often misused meant to either receive physical gain or as some sort of manipulation tool. The media also has transformed romantic love into something that is needed to be happy, where as you don’t, you can easily be happy without being in a romantic relationship. But romantic love is just more than the love of friends, more than the obligatory love of family, because romantic love is not obligatory or compulsory it is a very natural and involuntary action. To paraphrase John Green “falling in love is like falling asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”

Now let’s talk about falling in romantic love, to be precise the physical effects and sometimes dependency in relation to falling in love. The results could end up being an addictive substance, not by any means comparable to caffeine, tobacco, controlled and illegal substances or alcohol (Yes, I do consider alcohol to be an addictive substance). Basically it is in the same category as any substance that has an effect on one’s neurochemistry. When it comes to falling in love it is the addiction to a combination of three specific chemicals that effect neurochemistry.

-Phenyl ethylamine: speeds up the flow of information between nerve cells.

-Dopamine: feel good chemical.

-Norepinephrine: stimulates adrenaline production, makes heart race faster.

This blend of these chemicals is what is known commonly as the “falling in love” stage of romantic relationships. The stimulation of that chemical combination can actually override the part of the brain that controls logical thinking. I have an issue with the addiction to this chemical concoction, and how this makes people almost dependent on being involved in romantic relationships to make themselves happy, and as a result when they aren’t in a romantic relationship they lose their sense of “self”, all they want is to be in a relationship and there can be no substitute for them having that feeling. These people hop easily from one relationship to another only ever getting through this first stage of a relationship. This helps promote the societal view that to be happy you need to be in a romantic relationship, which is completely false. The possible results of this are that they much like any other addict want more and then once it reaches the point in which the feelings change and the “high” wears off they believe that they have “fallen out of love” or they go the other way and they continue on with it, allowing the relationship to progress past the initial stage. But this could result in the relationship being either co-dependent or one member being heavily emotionally dependent on the other, whereas in a healthy relationship should be neither, but they should be independent partners.

Now, that could have seemed very negative and I have yet to discuss the power that love holds. If there is no power in love then it would not have anywhere near the same effect on us that it does. But perhaps the power love has is all due to us giving it that power. When you think about it, love can give you strength to do many things; inversely love can break a person beyond repair, and then turn around and fix it all. “Because when you love someone there’s no limit to what you can accomplish.” This quote from the TV show Kyle XY implies that there is some hidden power in love. This further explains how much power love holds, this shows that love has the power to make mountains crumble. Now, let us look at the saying “Time heals all wounds,” now in many ways this could very well be true but as I see it this does not apply to “firsts” (To be clear, firsts, first person you’re in love with, first person to break your heart, and first person you sleep with).  This is or course within reason but, you don’t generally forget your “firsts” because they are the ones who set down the initial framework for the future. Forgetting and/or getting over your “firsts” is one of the hardest things a person can go through in the scope of romantic relationships, and yet what is implied is that what it takes for this to happen is time. Now how I see it is not time that helps get you over your “firsts” but what really helps if finding that one person. But I want to be clear that finding that person should not be your driving force or ultimate priority. Because even though I said that finding that one person will help you finally get over your “firsts”, friends will help greatly and being with your friends a whole lot easier than finding a new person to be in a romantic relationship with.

The questions of love.

Is love for me? Can I even be in love? Or will I just hurt them as they try to love me? Is this what I want? Do I really want to open myself up for pain, depression, anger or sadness all in hopes that it turns out differently.

The decision to choose to love or allow yourself to be loved belongs to each person.

Post Script: Love is a natural force much like gravity, we as people cannot limit it. We should strive to let love flow, not try to control it, but adequately navigate it. As if we were a leaf in the wind getting.

Boxes

I'd like to preface this by saying that I usually first write this out before I type it here to edit myself. But I feel like this is something that shouldn't be edited and should just come straight out. (Also Josh this isn't the blog post I mentioned in my e-mail.)

I don't like boxes. I'm not talking about those physical boxes, but the immaterial boxes that we put people in, that we even put ourselves in. I don't fit in most literal boxes and if I do I overflow. Because trying to fit someone into being one single thing just doesn't work. And even if you can fit someone into a single box, who says this box is the same from one person to another. And for this same reason I don't think that you could properly even Venn diagram a person. Now this is because not only are people more than one thing, but people are just more, more than the sum of their parts. Now in saying all this I am reminded of the movie The Breakfast Club but in particular this quote "You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain ...and an athlete... and a basket case... a princess... and a criminal... Does that answer your question?" Now this just shows that this is not a new or an original idea and yet people are still doing it. 

Now, I'd like to explain what is bringing me to talk about this. And because I can only guess that my Twitter may get passed around due to me now having it in a way linked to a university club I am part of. 

So here's the situation. Me plus three other people sitting in a Tim Hortons around 10:30-ish and being election time in the United States, the topic of politics came up. So being Canadian, we were discussing which of the presidential candidates we'd vote for. Now in saying this we only limited this to Dems and Repubs, we left out Green and Libs, so it was Romney vs Obama. But unsurprisingly we all agreed that Obama should win, but that's not the part that sparked this but it was one of the post discussion comment made by one of the other people there. "Only I just think he's a little too pro-choice" paraphrased of course because what the exact words were. What I took away from it was that even though we share a religion, our beliefs are different, we are in the same box, but different boxes at the same time. At that time I mentally was curious to know what they would think if they found out that I am pro-choice, or that I am pro allowing gay marriage to happen.  I said "mentally curious" because I did not actually mention any of this. I have a problem discussing in person what my beliefs are with people that I'm not like super close with. This is because I can actually handle the internet trolls and criticism more than irl trolls and criticism. My mom and my close friends know more of the specifics of my beliefs, and that's just fine with me.

Post Script: A question: If you are American who do you plan on voting for, if you aren't who would you vote for? Leave your answers in comments below.

Post-Post Script: It appears that I have made just over $1.00 in AdSense money in September, so thank you. I will be posting more so I can get that up to $100 so Google will actually send me that money.

2013

Ok I know that I am late in this, but I am going to talk about New Year’s Resolutions. But I don’t believe in NYRs because they are usually hard to stay true to. It’s just like me trying to do NaNoWriMo this past year, I got one page double sided and I kind of gave that up. But I do believe in goal setting.

So I set myself three goals for 2013.

First Goal: I have a bunch of books that have not been read. And so I will be reading, I want to say 20 books leisurely this year; if I do more I will be happy. But the hard part will be choosing which to start with and the subsequent order.

Second Goal: I want to increase the amount of photos I take worthy of putting into a portfolio. And I want to put together a proper portfolio though I know it will be filled primarily with 2013 photos. The hard part for me will be making time and actually going out and taking photos.

Third Goal: Simply enough to continue doing this. By the end of 2013 I hope to have posted twice as many blogs as I did in 2012, which I don’t really see as being all that hard to do especially since I have plenty of ideas.

Goal update: 

Books- 2 started

Photos- Unsure

Blogs- 2^nd posted.

Post Script: The goal updates will not be consecutive but periodic. 

A late review

Ok it being later in the year than I had hoped and for that I feel as though I must apologize, but I will not apologize, this is because my absence is due to a desire to spend time with family because family is important. So, I am not sorry that this is late.

This is the blog that I intended for Pre New Years because this is my look back. Where I bring up amendments, additions and extra comments I have in association to the things I have written here over the 2012 year. Let’s dive right in.

So I started my 2012 blogging with talking about entering a photo into a contest followed the next day with how it did and me whining about it doing poorly. But that did not deter me, because they did an autumn showcase and I did enter again I still did not win, but this time I did not feel so bad about not winning. Here is the photo I entered. In my opinion a much better photo which I also framed and matted better than the first.

I also discussed starting the blog again, though I still don’t share it on Facebook, and I have stopped posting it to Twitter to prevent judgment from people I know IRL.

I then proceeded to talk about Twitter and communication. And this has not really changed a bit. I got blocked by a Twitter user that I followed because I was unable to properly convey my point in 140 characters, and me being, well, me. I proceeded to send several tweets consecutively in an attempt to get my point across. So I essentially spammed the Twitter user, got blocked and this was still even before I could entirely get my point across. I regret the spamming and getting blocked, but I don’t regret trying to stand up for something I believe in.

Then came two blogs which I have nothing to add to at this time.

Ahh, Boxes. Chronologically the first blog of 2012 I found myself proud of and what I actually referred back to in posts written after this one. Now looking back I can’t see if I mentioned this anywhere but I do believe that it is possible to both inside and outside of a box, not only that you can be in multiple boxes, or that you are in more than one box.

Looking back at the next post I made I realize that “Assumptions” and “Boxes” could have been merged into one post because they have some complementary ideas in them.

I then proceeded to talk about Christmas for five non-consecutive posts; I’ve got to say Christmas was great, and I’m not going to do any sort of haul post because I took a photo and put it on instagram http://instagram.com/p/T06a7PhQBe/

I also talked about using public restrooms which I still wholly stand behind.

I wrote a response to a YouTube video about me being scared about sharing the blog, I think that with the being a New Year I will start sharing this on Twitter again. Still a bit frightened about what some people on Facebook will think though.

For my birthday I shared 23 bits of unsolicited advice which I really enjoyed doing and next birthday I may very well share 24 bits.

Post Script: Double blog today. Also I need to get back into a blogging schedule. So sorry if this gets a little scattered.